Weekend Movie Guide: Hercules! Hercules! Hercules!

Opening Everywhere: Hercules, Lucy, And So it Goes

Opening Somewhere: A Most Wanted Man

FilmDrunk Suggests: How can you say no to the nacho cheese flavor of a Brett Ratner retelling of the story of Hercules, starring the Rock with yak pubes glued to his face? It’s going to be legendary!


Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 64% critics, 72% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

The point of leaving the Rock behind was to keep Johnson out of stuff like this and to take more risks, like the juiced-up idiot crook he played in Pain & Gain. – Wesley Morris, Grantland

Ratner’s sense of humor is never clever, or light, and I’ve hated my share of his earlier films, but not this one. – Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune

Armchair Analysis: I don’t care about this movie one way or another, because Brett Ratner is who he is – a guy who makes visual orgies for our senses with stories that don’t require thought – and the Rock looks dumb with hair, but he’s the Rock and he’s fun. That said, it’s a movie about a massive monster of a man who wears a lion for a hat and shouts and grunts while killing people and things, so sit back and turn your brain off if that’s what you prefer.


Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 61% critics, 64% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

In the showiest sequence, Lucy’s body starts exploding into bursts of confetti. Even then, Johannson holds everything together. She’s the rare actress who brings conviction and clarity to flights of fancy. – Michael Sragow, Orange County Register

Lucy is a welcome reminder of just how much Besson’s wry sensibility as a filmmaker adds to movies like this. – Chris Klimek, NPR

Armchair Analysis: You know what I just wrote about turning off your brain and watching dumb, mindless action? Luc Besson is practically the best at that. I don’t care if this plot is tired and recycled. Kick some ass, ScarJo.

And So it Goes

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 17% critics, 30% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

We get little flashes of story beats, but then it’s on to the next thing – never enough to make us really invested in what’s happening to these people. – Bilge Ebiri, Vulture

“And So It Goes” does what it needs to do for its target audience in thoroughly sufficient, mediocre ways. – Christy Lemire,

Armchair Analysis: “Hey Joe, we need an idea for a movie that stars an older actor and an older actress that still have plenty of drawing power, but it needs to be an easy enough story that we can get them in and out in a week so they can get back to their stem cell therapies in Bali. What’s that, you have a story about a cranky old dick who suddenly changes when a young child is thrust into his life? Great, send it on over. And Joe? Put it in a giant bag of cocaine so I can have fun digging it out.”

A Most Wanted Man

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 90% critics, 72% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

Hoffman, bloated and flushed, does not look well in this film. But he is such a consummate actor that whatever infirmities he may have been fighting become a part of his performance. – Peter Rainer, Christian Science Monitor

It’s hard not to want A Most Wanted Man to go on forever, if only to spend time in the company of Hoffman – one of the great actors of his, or any, generation. – John Semley, Globe and Mail

Armchair Analysis: When actors die, it’s sad to watch them in their final performances. So that’s that.