Weekend Movie Guide: Not 1 Gun, Not 3 Guns, Just ‘2 Guns’

Opening Everywhere: 2 Guns, The Smurfs 2

FilmDrunk Suggests: I have to admit that I was pretty shocked when I read Vince’s glowing review of The Smurfs 2. “The best movie that you’ll see this year or in the next 10 years” is certainly an incredible statement to make about any film, let alone the sequel to a children’s film. But I trust Vince’s word about it and strongly encourage you to read the rest of his review right here.

2 Guns

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 59% critics, 97% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“Though individual set pieces are well done, the film inevitably leaves an empty taste behind it once it’s done.” – Kenneth Turan, Los Angeles Times

“Thousands of rounds of ammo are spent in 2 Guns, a brutal, complicated and sporadically funny movie that still seems slight.” – Claudia Puig, USA Today

Armchair Analysis: This should be a film that typically falls into my wheelhouse of stupidly enjoyable action movies. It should be. But as I watch commercial after commercial, I’m just stuck with this gut feeling that it’s not going to entertain me. But then, I’m pretty sure that White House Down and RED 2 ruined me for all other movies this year, because they were both amazing and perfect.

The Smurfs 2

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 14% critics, 74% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes:

“The trouble with this stunted sequel is that the doughy, blobby-hatted Smurfs are mostly window dressing for an abrasive slapstick bash built around a tiresome kidnap plot …” – Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

“Not so much of a film as it is a collection of images and sounds that bludgeon you.” – Laremy “Hercules” Legel, Film.com

Armchair Analysis: You know what I’ve always wondered about the Smurfs? If they’re “three apples high,” how come only Gargamel can see them? I mean, three apples high is like a squirrel, if not bigger. That has never made sense to me.