Weekend Movie Guide: Scary Movie V, As In ‘Very Last One, Please’

Senior Writer
04.12.13 12 Comments

Opening Everywhere: Scary Movie 5, 42

FilmDrunk Suggests: If someone puts a gun to your head and says, “You must go see Scary Movie 5”, well, I will miss you. Otherwise, if you have to see a new movie this weekend, go see the baseball story that everyone already knows, but that nobody gets tired of hearing.

Scary Movie 5

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 0% critics, 79% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes

“Spoofing movies ranging from Black Swan to Mama to Paranormal Activity, this installment of the profitable series is woefully, painfully unfunny.” – Frank Scheck, Hollywood Reporter

“It stinks!” – Jay Sherman

Armchair Analysis: I don’t even want to talk about these stupid movies anymore. If I win Powerball this weekend, I will quit all six of my jobs and spend the rest of my life producing quality parody movies like Top Secret. Our children’s children deserve better.

42

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 72% critics, 82% audience

Gratuitous Review Quotes

“A stirring, straightforward and ultimately soaring portrayal of Robinson’s historic entry into Major League Baseball in 1947.” – Ann Hornaday, Washington Post

“An inspiring, old-school biopic that doesn’t pull any punches in depicting the ugly racism that Jackie Robinson faced on a daily basis as the first African-American player in Major League Baseball.” – Lou Lumenick, NY Post

Armchair Analysis: As someone who loves baseball movies a little too much and still believes in America’s pastime as a romantic subject that makes for good storytelling, I wouldn’t have a problem if someone decided to make the a Jackie Robinson movie every five years as a way of retelling a very important story about a truly special man.

I would, however, also like to see a few other guys have their stories told. Maybe Roberto Clemente, who could have been the greatest player ever if not for that plane crash. Perhaps Curt Flood, who helped foster a new era of free agency. How about Stan Musial, who is widely regarded as the game’s finest gentleman? Won’t someone tell the amazing story of Rusty Kuntz?

I guess only time will tell.

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