03.14.08 10 years ago 56 Comments


Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who
Guaranteed to clean up on a weak weekend, and actually looks kind of good. Reuters headline: "Moviegoers can’t ignore elephant in theaters". Get it? Because it’s about an elephant?  Omg that’s so clever I want to slam my weiner in the door!

The only question is: Will it be bad or awesomely bad? Either way it’ll be a great Bentley commercial

Never Back Down
Fail. Though if you do go, be sure to bring your Fox Racing gear.

Funny Games
Watch Tim Roth and Naomi Watts get tortured by the neighbor boys.  Or not.

The Grand
Poker movie with a Brett Ratner cameo.  Thought you’d sneak it by me, didn’t you, fuckers.  Not a chance – I know what nachos smell like.

Lance Recommends:  In Bruges.  An odd little movie that keeps messing with your expectations.  Worth seeing for the dialogue alone. 

Around The Web