Senior Editor
06.13.08 250 Comments

Opening this week – click the title for the trailer:   

The Incredible Hulk
It’s getting pretty good reviews, if you consider "It was okay, I guess…" a good review, which RottenTomatoes does.  Maybe they should change the name to The Mildly Entertaining Hulk.  Kurt Loder describes it as a "simple monster romp"; the same line I use to get chicks into bed.  In related news, Kurt Loder is still alive.  The other day I saw a Mexican guy with a "Norteño" tattoo.  I figure he must be Ed Norton’s biggest fan.

The Happening – click anywhere for trailer
Gosh, you know I’d forgotten this was coming out today until now.  I really hope it sucks as much as I hope it sucks, so Manny can stamp his little feet about what meanies all the critics are.  If it’s as bad-good as Wicker Man, I may have to put on a bear suit and punch myself.

Surprise, it’s not about Fergie.  She should grow out her pubes and change her name to Furgy.  My aunt used to do that.

Quid Pro Quo
Wow, great title.  What were the other choices?  

Kicking It
The alternate title for Friday is actually a documentary about the Homeless World Cup.  Which is not nearly as much fun as the Hobodeo, where you ride a hobo until he or she bucks you off while your friends throw full beer cans at your head.

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