02.15.08 10 years ago 159 Comments

Opening this Weekend:

Definitely, Maybe – I’m leaning towards maybe, and only because Ryan Reynolds, Abigail Breslin, Isla Fischer and Rachel Weisz are all in it.  Looks like a lame rom-com, but they crammed every cute person in Hollywood in there.  Christ man, I’m not made of stone.

Jumper – Hmmm… no.

The Spiderwick Chronicles – Ooh, another fantasy movie for children.  I have a better idea.  It’s a reality movie for children, and it’s called Learn to F*cking Talk.

Step Up 2 the Streets – “It’s not where you’re from.  It’s where you’re at.”  You ain’t gonna save the rec center with grammar like that, y’all.

Diary of the DeadDear Diary, today we made another pointless zombie movie.  Collectively, D.

Me & You, Us, Forever – Do you find Jay Leno unnecessarily vulgar?  Are you distressed by the lack of Jesus in the Old Testament?  Do you believe God indeed hates fags?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, this may be the movie for you.  Featuring scintillating star turns from Michael Rozgay and Stacey Asswad, in which they think back and reminisce – simultaneously!  Incredible!

Around The Web