Weekend Preview: Shia Labeouf is in ur stocks, Ryan Reynolds is in ur box

Senior Editor
09.24.10 34 Comments

"I hate your box, it's dark and smelly!"

Opening this Weekend

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
I’m guessing this is going to be the weekend’s big money winner.  It certainly looks Oliver Stone-y, and not necessarily in a bad way.  But it’s also an Allan Loeb script.  I try not to bash screenwriters too much, because they get blamed for a lot things that aren’t their fault, but having seen a few Allan Loeb movies now, the common thread seems to be “painfully formulaic.”  He has like 10 projects in development, and they all sound like Awesom-O pitches.  Including one in which Kevin James literally saves the rec center through MMA fighting (okay, it was the music program, but still).  Oliver Stone is the kind of director who could make formulaic work, but… without Kevin James’ pants falling down, where’s the drama?

You can read my review here.  I honestly want as many people to see this as possible so I can prove that I’m not crazy.  Everyone seems to like this film.  Granted, I was a little drunk when I saw it at Sundance (it was a midnight screening), but my honest, non-contrarian reaction was that I hated it.   Not in a haha-bad kind of way, either, but in a this-feels-sleazy-and-manipulative kind of way where it actually made me angry (like Crash, or the end of Million Dollar Baby).  The people I went to the screening with hated it too.  Most of the tension relied on preposterous plot points, and the protagonist kept doing such stupid things that I just wanted him to die.  Not to mention it didn’t seem to have a point other than “look at me, I can create tension.” (which isn’t tense if you’re rooting for the protagonist to die). So please, go see this terrible movie, help me validate that I’m not out of my mind.  …For the record, Ryan Reynolds is still a sweet boy.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole
I’ll be honest, I’m probably not going to see the Australian warrior owls movie.  But it is a Zack Snyder movie, and I’m going to keep on believing that Zack Snyder is a badass until proven otherwise.  He choreographed the fight scenes using stunt men in owl suits, for Christ sake!  I like the idea of that being someone’s job more than I’ve liked any of my jobs.

You Again
Haha, Betty White is horny and on Twitter.  It’s hilarious, because she’s old and old people don’t do that stuff.   Kristen Bell plays a character who used to be ugly. Seriously.  Like with glasses and pony tails and fake acne and everything.  So embarrassing!

Limited Release:

Enter The Void
It looks… French.

The Virginity Hit
Documentary-style sex comedy produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. I’m not really sure what to make of it.

James Franco plays Allen Ginsberg.  I saw it.  I liked it more than I thought I would.  Other than the animated poetry parts, it’s actually pretty good.  Regardless, it’s nice to see James Franco finally doing something gay.

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