Westboro Baptist to picket Sage Stallone’s funeral

As part of their ongoing campaign to win the nation’s hearts and minds, Westboro Baptist are planning to picket Sage Stallone‘s funeral. This according to the “church” (seriously, it’s like one family) members themselves on Twitter, who’ve taken to retweeting every tweet about Stallone’s death and adding #picketfuneral. Because somehow, everything bad that happens to anyone is punishment for society’s tolerance of gay people. It’s in the bible, right after the part about not coveting thy neighbor’s truck nutz.

“Thrice-married rebel taught his son to mock God. ‪#picketfuneral‬ MT@digitalspy: Sylvester Stallone’s son Sage Stallone found dead, aged 36,” Margie Phelps wrote on Twitter.

“Adulterous dad brought wrath of God on son. ‪#BloodOnDadsHands‬‪#picketfuneral‬ ‪#woe‬ MT @GlobalGrind: Sylvester Stallone son, Sage, dead at 36.”

On Twitter, she told Sage’s father, Sylvester Stallone, to mourn for his son’s sins. “Chance to redeem yourself with God. Tell @TheSlyStallone to mourn for his sins, not pimp out son’s dead body to more proud sin!” [ChristianPost via Fark]

You have to give them this, for a people with a caveman-level understanding of the universe, they sure are quick to utilize social media. Anyway, if you follow Sly Stallone on Twitter, you know that part of him really does seem to believe he’s that action hero he always plays in movies. And if ever there was a real-life first act to a revenge movie, a group of a-holes picketing your son’s funeral would be it. I’m picturing a weapons montage that ends with Rambo tightening his headband. Do it, Sly, no court in the land would convict.

And if the FBI is reading this, by “it” I mean of course serve them coffee and Danish. (*strains eyelid from winking*)