Final Trailer: ‘The Divergent Series: Insurgent’ Still Looks Like It Was Written By An SEO Algorithm

And here we have the final trailer for The Divergent Series: Insurgent, starring Shailene Woodley and Miles Teller, in which a big plot point is a teenager getting a haircut. Haha, did you know Kate Winslet and Naomi Watts are in this movie? This movie is so bland it makes me miss Twilight.

Here are some spoilery Easter Egg referencey things for people who want to know how the movie departs from the books:

[Divergent author Veronica Roth] addressed the differences between the Insurgent movie and her book it was based on in a Tumblr post. In the second book of the Divergent series, Tris being scared to shoot a gun was a big plot point and there is no “mystery box.” However, in the trailers for the film, the latest one of which was released today, we see Tris with a gun multiple times and constantly see an octopus of tubes connected to divergents as Jeanine attempts to unlock the mystery box.

Roth explained that she, like many fans, was apprehensive about the film after seeing the trailers. However, after seeing the movie she approved the changes that were made.

“Insurgent, the book, has a complicated plot—a lot of moving parts, a lot of ups and downs,” wrote Roth. “That sort of thing can work in a book, but if it’s translated directly to the screen, it makes for a messy, confusing movie. The changes that were made streamline the story so it makes sense for this new format; in other words, they work.” [HollywoodReporter]

Well that’s a relief. If Katniss Bellaswan or whoever had gotten a different haircut in the movie than she had in the books I’d probably be flipping over tables and sh*t. A PAGEBOY, ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!?

Honestly, I haven’t read the books, but the movie looks like it was written by an SEO algorithm. You can tell Shailene Woodley is a good actress because she’s the only person in the trailer who doesn’t deliver her lines like a hostage reading a ransom note. And would it have killed them to at least get Foreigner to write a theme song? It’s a Divergent-vergent… insur-gency…

Opens March 20, 2015.