Whoa, I think I just fart-barfed

Here’s the latest trailer for Rock of Ages, starring Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Julianne Hough, and the invisible grinning face of Satan. This warmed-over pile of stupid clichés and pandering is impressive only the sense that I think I actually barted when I saw it. That’s when you barf and fart at the same time.

Not even a baboon in a leather jacket could get me to see this.

Boy, what would attractive white kids do without wise black folks to give them advice but not hog any of their spotlight? I hope this movie gets cancer.