Why, if women run around in skimpy clothing in video games, can’t men get equal time in the nudity department? The answer appears to be, mostly, that developers aren’t interested in doing the work. Well, the developers of Conan Exiles sure are willing. Very willing. So willing this might be the most penis-centric game this side of Cobra Club.
Conan Exiles is an open-world survival game developed by Funcom, and the game really wants to start you with nothing. So you start it completely naked, and players quickly discovered that not only does that mean rocking out with your barbarian out, somebody decided that boob physics needed a counterbalance in wang physics. In fact, there’s even a slider where you can adjust the size of your junk, which you see on the opening screen.
On the one hand, this is pretty blatantly gratuitous. On the other, though, is this really any more egregious than, say, Bayonetta losing her clothes as she fights, the entire Dead or Alive franchise, or Solid Snake running around with a sniper in the desert in a string bikini top? Really, more games should offer this as an option. Just not Mario. We really don’t want to know how his anatomy works.