“One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. And speaking of giant…”
Astronauts! They’re brave, heroic and inspiring and yet like all of us they’re still totally worried that their wieners don’t measure up. Well, not all of us. I mean, I’m pretty confident, because well, come on.
Going to the bathroom in space is a complex and not particularly dignified process. It involves, uh, let’s call them maximum absorbency undergarments fit with all manner of tubes and bags. For #1, astronauts were fit with a condom, which was attached to a hose and bag — problem was, the condoms came in small, medium and large and of course nobody ever picked anything but large, so the damn things were always falling off. Guys, come on, just tell NASA you’re growers not showers — unless crazy non-stop boners are a side effect of outer space, you shouldn’t need a magnum pee catcher. And if crazy non-stop boners are a side effect of space travel, then sign me up. Hey-o!
So anyways, since astronauts are still a bunch of junior high kids at heart, NASA actually had to change their dong bag sizes to Large, Gigantic and Humongous to sooth their fragile egos. No really, here’s an actual NASA guy talking about it…
I wonder if NASA ran into any similar issues with female astronauts? Do lady space suits come in Small, Smaller and DAYUM GIRL?