Argentina’s First Superhero: Zenitram, The Coke Addict

04.14.10 8 years ago 4 Comments

Just when I thought we’d exhausted all possibilities of any more superhero concepts, Argentina decides to throw their dart at the map, revealing the country’s first ever superhero movie:Zenitram. With a May release date, scheduled in Argentina, and no actual trailer available yet for viewing, Zenitram’s advertising campaign is either A) genius -or B) undeniably retarded. While a number of Zenitram scenes have been uploaded onto the internet, none of them actually contain any subtitles, so it’s hard to really tell what the hell is going on. Unfortunately, the extent of my Spanish limits me to only asking for piss and water at the bar, but thanks to I dug up this beautifully translated synopsis for the film:

One night in the bathrooms of Constitución, a young man who just lost his job as a garbage collector, receives a “gift” that allows him to dominate “the power of water” and have other super powers among which there is not, of course The invulnerability.

The young Martinez discover himself as owner of superhuman strength and the flying ability. With their powers he’ll try to help people and restore free access to water. People love him, the media acclaim, the politics use and manipulate him, the fear takes control of his psyche and, to cope with the vertigo of flying, he becomes a cocaine addict.

From what I can decipher about the clip below, I guess our superhero activates his powers by squeezing his junk?!?

No really, for once I’m not just saying that to try and disregard my behavior in the library stacks last week. Besides, in my defense, if they didn’t want people masturbating in all of those Ranger Rick magazines, then why’d they put them on the shelf? Huh? Answer me that, smart a-s.

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