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I have a confession to make — I think I may have watched every movie based on a horror video game ever made. Every one released in theatres at least. I certainly didn’t intentionally set out to achieve this incredibly dubious honor. I just like survival horror games a lot, and had nothing to do a few too many Friday nights and I kind of dig Milla Jovovich and, and…I don’t know! I don’t know how it happened! Everyone makes mistakes, okay?!
So, in honor of this spoooky time of year, here’s every (theatrically released) movie based on a horror video game ranked from bad to worst (because there is no “good” when you’re talking horror game movies)…
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I actually saw Silent Hill Revelation in theaters. It wasn’t a miserable experience because the entire audience was riffing it and laughing their asses off. It was the most fun I ever had at A terrible movie.
Me too, but my theater was almost abandoned, leaving me alone with my pain.
If it weren’t for the 3D/surround sound, I probably would have walked out.
Saw it in theaters only because it was in D-Box, and we were planning on sneaking into Cloud Atlas after.
It was cool when the seats moved… oh, and the end, when I pulled a Peter Griffin at the Police transport bus, saying “OH! I GET THAT REFERENCE!”
I agree completely with this list.
As a die hard Silent Hill game fan, I agree. The first Silent Hill movie was the best video game movie to date. Silent Hill Revelation was FUCKING BONKERS. It’s like they cherry picked stuff from all the games to cram it into one because I’m pretty sure everyone involved knew they wouldn’t be allowed to make a third. She casts SUMMON on Pyramid Head? He’s a good guy now? Not a force of the town? Nothing about James Sunderland at all? Nope? Ok. My brain hurts. Don’t get me started in the IN YOUR FACE 3D. The character of Douglas Cartland was perfectly cast though.
Nerd rant: DISENGAGED.
I never considered Blood Rayne as horror. I look at it more in the same vein as Legacy of Kain, only worse. For some reason I always thought Clock Tower, Parasite Eve, and Fatal Frame had been made into movies. At least in the Asian market. I need to look that up.
Was gonna say the same about BloodRayne. Never heard of a Parasite Eve movie, but the other two do seem like possibilities.
Kinda? The Japanese movie market is very very strange, as a business.
Well, seeing as I’m not Japanese I haven’t seen most movies made for the Japanese market. Also, I needed to include Bloodrayne so I could post that “highlight” reel of it’s gore effects.
Yes on Parasite Eve, not yet on Clock Tower, no on Fatal Frame.
Maybe next you should rate movies based on fighting games.
Relatively short list, though.
There were multiple Mortal Kombats. Please don’t ask me how many; I’m stuck at “more than one”.
That’s silly because Street Fighter with JCVD is the best movie ever, only slightly better than Bloodsport
I tried to forget that they made movies about Dead of Alive, King of Fighters, or Tekken
DOA is probably the most faithful game adaptation I’ve ever seen. At least until Eric Roberts winds up being the last boss.
Resident Evil needs a reboot so fucking bad. And I hate reboots.
They should make it a kids’ movie starring the dog from RE4. It can be called “Hey… It’s That Dog”.
For some reason I take great pleasure in sitting with my wife and watching the Resident Evil movies. Dumb action Milla Jovovich movies is kind of our thing. We even enjoyed Ultraviolet together. I think I’ve said this before.
Her movies deliver what they promise. There’s nothing wrong with that.
i feel like In the Name of the King should have been in here somewhere.
even if for nothing more than this moment from matthew lillard [www.youtube.com]
Matthew Lillard is my spirit animal.
I actually thought Resident Evil Apocalypse was the absolute worst of the series, and Retribution has been my favorite just because it’s the most video game-like. But they are all kind of shit obviously and I’m embarrassed I’ve seen them all. I blame Milla Jovovich, I’ll watch almost anything with her.
The chick that plays Jill Valentine is pretty nice to look at too, but she is a bad actress even by RE movie standards.
The worst part of Resident Evil: Apocalypse was when Alice has fisticuffs with the fucking NEMESIS. This giant, bio-engineered monster with stabbing tentacles and a rocket launcher. PUNCHIES. Thats when I facepalmed myself to sleep.
@kazoshay Are you a fan of the show Luther? The actress that plays Jill was the love interest in the third season. I had to do a double take when I realized they were the same person. Her acting has improved.
The Resident Evil movies are awesome. The only real problem is that they keep trying to please the fans of these horrible video games by inserting references. Like the last part. If they cut all ties with the video games and just keep the basic premise aka Umbrella and the virus they would so much better
Just no
I’m with you. There are 3 good games in the entire series: 1,2 and 4. and 4 doesn’t even involve zombies or Umbrella.
Ladies and gentlemen, the one person in the world who thinks the Resident Evil movies are awesome and the games are horrible. What a fascinating creature.
I’m with Holy Shit Snacks. Resident Evil 1, 2 and 4 are amazing games. It’s when Capcom decided they wanted to make the series into Gears of War that the games started really sucking.
I don’t get the point of making modern videogames into live action movies. Most AAA titles are interactive movies already. With big name actors doing the voices no less.
The point is MONEY.
I’m so glad Uwe Boll makes video game movies. Let’s people forget about Super Mario Bros.
True story: I graduated high school in 2004 and was drunj at a friend’s place one night and had passed out. I woke up to House of the Dead on TV and asked my buddy if he was playing a video game. “Nope, that’s the movie,” he said. I just shook my head, “then I am fuuuuuuuuucked up“.
I always felt that if they renamed Event Horizon “Doom” and had the original crew of the ship get turned into a bunch of skinned and mutilated hell beasts when they crossed over into the hell dimension, it would have been the best video game to movie adaptation ever!
I can’t stand the Resident Evil movies on pure principle. they’re not adaptations, they’re blatant star vehicles for the director and his wife. then half way through script writing they remember that they need to include some characters from the game’s as Mila’s sidekicks.
I enjoyed Doom. It was what I wanted in a goofy crappy movie based on a goofy crappy game.
Wow, so I’ve seen all of these except Alone in the Dark. That’s depressing.
House of the Dead might be one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life. I went on a date to see that, and my then-girlfriend got mad at me for laughing so hard I cried.
Ah, so THIS is why you decided to start reviewing Smackdown! with those open Friday nights. Can’t say I blame you for that. :)
Lets face it, the Resident Evil movies are nothing but horrible fanfiction adapted into a movie franchise, and Alice serves as the biggest Mary Sue of all time.