Getting Your Kid Stoned At the Dentist Is the Key to Riches

Senior Contributor

Exploiting children is a proud American tradition. We exploited children to build the fortunes of the robber barons, and when that became illegal for some reason, we began exploiting children for their entertainment potential, which of course, has absolutely no damaging psychological effects whatsoever. Just ask…errrrr…um…huh. There’s got to be one who’s still an actor and not injecting heroin into his eyeballs. Right?

The latest potential future emotional wreck, who we’ll just call David, got his start after being taken to the dentist, and began rambling like a wasted philosophy student. You probably remember this viral. It was so popular, it got its own website, and they began, like all viral videos that take off, to sell merchandise, enough ($150K) that David’s dad quit his job.

Of course, they don’t mention this on the site: they say the money goes to local charities and David’s college fund, and we’re assuming since only $7000 has gone to charity, that the bulk of it went to paying for college, because $143k is probably what it’ll cost to go to a state school by the time this kid hits university. Still, it’s a little creepy and sad to live off a video of your stoned kid. Although we guess it’s not as sad as living off of “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!”

[ via GeekoSystem ]

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