The Guardians of the Galaxy have a cartoon on the way this September, and to build it up, they’re putting short clips showing the origin of each member up on YouTube. We’ve already seen Groot Begins, and now it’s Rocket Raccoon’s turn for an origin.
It is, of course, a cuddly tale of a raccoon cub abducted from his mother by robots, tortured mercilessly to become a killing machine, and free his family only to be rejected by them. No, really:
Hooray for, uh, familial rejection. Is it dusty in here? Is the dust made out of onions? Come on, you already wiped out an entire planet of Groots, this is just piling on!
This is actually a step up from Rocket’s original origin; he, along with his sidekick Wal Rus, defended what amounted to an intergalactic nursing home after being bioengineered to be a therapy animal. He also used to have rocket skates. Normally, we’d joke about drug use here, but Keith Giffen didn’t need drugs to be weird in the ’80s.
As for who’s left, we have yet to see the origins of Drax and Gamora, which will surely be just as upbeat. We’ll see those before the show premieres September 26.