Life Imitates Awful ’90s Comics: Behold the Runnur

Senior Contributor
08.09.12 4 Comments

So, you have too much crap to put in your pockets, you don’t want a briefcase, and you’re too insecure in your masculinity to just buy the Rollerblades and fanny pack you so obviously need. Or you just want, very much, to look like a crappy ’90s anti-hero that everybody has forgotten until Brandon Graham reboots you.

The Runnur can help you with that.

Yes, the name is pretty stupid, but really they could have named this thing the Sex-Giver and it wouldn’t have mattered. It’s essentially a fanny pack.

But it’s a fanny pack that you drape across your chest, and it has pouches. Lots and lots and lots of pouches.

Somewhere, Rob Liefeld is shaking his monitor and weeping with joy.

Here’s the faintly ridiculous commercial for this thing:

This thing is really built from the ground up for nerds. First of all, look at it. Only people who have decided to forgo style for the sake of convenience will wear this thing. Secondly it’s got pockets on its pockets. There’s pouches for ID, credit cards and cash, your phone, your MP3 player, your sunglasses, your camera, and your water bottle. There’s even a hidden pouch. Let me repeat that: it has a hidden pouch.

It’s actually pretty horribly designed by the company’s own admission; the phone pocket won’t fit phones in larger cases and you can’t fit curved sunglasses in the sunglass pocket. But who cares? Buy two! You’ll feel like Cable! You’ll look like a total f***ing dork, but it’s how you feel on the inside, right?

The really sad thing is that I can actually use this beast when I’m on a convention floor or otherwise in need of more pockets to lug all the AV toys I need to use. Hence I have actually bought one.

Now I need to figure out where to get one of those energy weapons with an oblong barrel.

image courtesy Runnur

Around The Web