03.09.10 9 years ago 5 Comments

(Dr. Kyle cannot recommend this trailer for your health.)

There are a number of things out there that I can openly admit to having very little knowledge of. Things like women, automobile engines, human emotions, etc. – you know “the usual”. Annnnd then there are things that just absolutely do not register anywhere near my scale of cognizance, things like, oh let’s just say for the sake of argument, this trailer for Takashi Miike’s new film Zebraman 2: Zebra City no Gyakushu. I mean, holy sh-t in my snorkel, Batman. I cannot, for the life of me, even begin to describe what is going on here (thank God nipponcinema already has):

Plot: In the year 2025, Tokyo has been transformed into “Zebra City” and completely covered in black and white [like your mom -Ed.]. Every morning at 5:00am, the sensational singing voice of a woman called Zebra Queen (Riisa Naka) can be heard resounding throughout the city. Suddenly, a man named Shinichi Ichikawa (Show Aikawa) awakes with no idea of where he is. In his confusion, he’s shot in the chest by Zebra Queen’s police force and knocked unconscious. He’s rescued by a man in a strange costume and soon finds himself in a small commune outside of the city. Their leader recognizes Shinichi as the school teacher turned super hero who saved Earth from an alien invasion 15 years ago before suddenly disappearing. However, Shinichi has no recollection of where he was during that time…

Pshhhh, so that’s what this is all about?! Well why didn’t somebody speak up sooner? You, in the back of the class, with the ponytail and JNCO jeans, you’ve got detention!

Scheduled for a May 1, 2010 release date in Japan, I invite you all to take a gander at the trailer below, but don’t go holding me responsible when you start to spaz out. Extra credit for heading on over to the movie’s official site and trying to navigate that thing. I swear, I blacked out after no less than three minutes of clicking on random buttons and then awoke convinced that I had nodded off in the middle of a SAT Test.

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