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These Selina Meyer Quotes Will Speak To You If You Have No Filter

While most real-life politicians who live in the public spotlight choose their words very delicately, Veep‘s Selina Meyer (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) has a tendency to get almost poetically profane with her vocabulary once the cameras are off and the doors are closed (most of the time, anyway). To celebrate the show (which is available to stream on HBO Now), Selina, and all she’s accomplished by telling people exactly what she thinks of them, here are some moments that really speak to that particular skill and those among us who are able to go through life without a filter.

“Now I have a dick AND balls.”

When you’re being called out, it can put you in a tough spot. You can choose to act cordially, or maybe even politely push back a little. Or, you could also take a page from Selina’s book, like when she’s mockingly told by Senator Doyle (Phil Reeves) that she ‘used to have balls.’ While Selina may not have a filter, what she does have is impeccable timing.

“That door should only be half its height, so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn motherf*cking knees.”

Once you achieve a certain amount of success and power in life, particularly in politics, there’s bound to be a certain air of superiority about you. Most people, however, wouldn’t embrace it quite like Selina does with this suggestion.

“Why don’t you put on your running shoes and get to the f*cking point?”

There are a number of ways to get someone to hurry up when they’re talking in circles. Of course, none are quite as blunt, or as effective, as Selina’s method.

“I’m in an ass-kicking contest with no legs and a huge ass.”

When Selina’s pushed into the spotlight after her party’s disastrous midterm election, she doesn’t let it bring her down — at least in terms of her way with words. In classic Selina fashion, she doesn’t even admit defeat outright, instead musing on its inevitability. It also goes to show that not having a filter doesn’t have to mean crass, profane comments (although it usually does), but it can include some lighthearted perspective into an otherwise hopeless situation.

“No, I don’t need five minutes. I’m absolutely f*cking fine.”

You know why Selina doesn’t need that five minutes? She knows that if she takes that time, she’ll think about what she’s going to say, mull it over a bit, most likely edit herself, and then come back with a safe, calm, well-thought out response. Not having a filter is about speaking from the gut, and letting out a rant without any concern for the consequences.

“You stop interrupting me, you stupid f*cking interrupt-y guy.”

If there’s a downside to having no filter it’s the fact that sometimes your comebacks don’t always land quite as well as you’d hope. Still, if you manage to get your point across, then that’s really what’s important.

“I’d rather get shot in the f*cking face than be Vice President again. Seriously, in the f*cking face!”

Sometimes a simple “no, thank you” just won’t do the trick.

“I’ve met some people, some real people, and I gotta tell ya, a lot of them are f*cking idiots.”

While most people would shrug off having a tropical storm named after them, Selina’s experience as a gaffe-prone public figure ends up landing her right in the middle of the worst-case scenario. And while she reflects on the public perception of her as a result, she does it all with her usual poetic grace, and, like always, without a filter.

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