Music

More Jobs That Would Look Great Under Chance The Rapper’s Name On A Jumbotron

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When Chance The Rapper visited Madison Square Garden to take in the Knicks/Cavs game, apparently the Jumbotron operator thought it was very important to highlight what Chance does for a living during his obligatory big-screen closeup, despite the fact that his job title is right there in his stage name. Of course, everyone was very amused by this, kicking off a lighthearted round of teasingly retitling the well-known Chicago MC.

However, why should anyone just assume that Chance is a rapper just because his name is Chance The Rapper? That seems like a sort of lazy assumption to make, so of course, the MSG Jumbotron operator would have to make extra sure to clarify just what this man’s job title is. After all, there are many things Chance could be great at doing. Below we’ve listed ten alternative careers based on everything we’ve seen from the multifaceted lyricist, actor, activist and corporate pitchman over the last few years of his stunning ascent to superstardom.

Plumber

Let’s keep it real: If you didn’t know Chance’s name and you saw him wearing those overalls just walking down the street, wouldn’t it be natural to assume that he’d be some kind of blue-collar worker? Now, Chance is no scrawny tumbleweed, but at the same time, he doesn’t really have the burly physique of say, a construction worker, so a plumber would be a natural second choice.

In fact, fans have noted the similarity between Chance’s favored sartorial item and the star of Nintendo’s wide-ranging video game series starring a certain Italian plumber. His 2016 MTV Video Music Awards outfit drew a number of comparisons to Super Mario, some even going so far as to call him a long-lost Mario Brother. In any case, Chance seems like an upstanding guy, so he could probably be trusted to unclog a pipe or two — or save a distressed princess.

Mall Santa

Chance seems pretty popular with the kids, and he loves to gift iPads, computers, and money to the schools and students of his native Chicago, so this one seems like a natural fit as well. While Chance isn’t quite as hefty as the traditional depiction of old Saint Nick, he’s certainly got the jolly part down pat; it’s almost impossible to catch him without a giant grin plastered over his cheerful face.

As he is also the very spirit of generosity, whether it’s the holiday season or not, Chance would make a fine mall Santa, bringing as much joy to tots and tykes with a wholesome “Ho, ho, ho” as he does with his trademark “Ah! Ah! Ah!” yelping ad-lib. Finally, there’s no rule against having a Black Santa, no matter what Fox News thinks.

Bookstore Gift-Wrapper

Well, the pun had to work its way in somewhere, but hey, at least we’ve got a fun explanation. Chance loves education, as noted above, so why not take a more hands-on approach to giving the gift of learning?

His signature overalls could protect his clothes from tape, paste, glitter glue, and marker damage. Really, this one comes down to the wordplay. “Chance The Wrapper” has been done before, sure (see below), but that was about Chance being on a candy bar wrapper, whereas this one is about Chance actually doing the wrapping, which I think fits the theme of his nom de plume better.

Sports Mascot

Speaking of the Kit-Kat bar ad that placed Chance on the wrapper of the delicious chocolate snack, you may have noticed that he seems quite cozy in that lion (?) costume. So cozy, in fact, that I think the notable sports fanatic Chance could get even closer to the game as a mascot.

He’s got enough energy and stage presence to at least consider this as a side job. He could get plenty of practice working the crowd at sporting events while conserving his voice, and it can’t be overstated just how much the kids love Chance. The only way to make them love him more is by wrapping a cuddly tear bear suit comfortably around him, sending him bouncing around the stadium, and having him toss freebies into the stands.

Preacher

With the strong religious overtones of his most recent project, Coloring Book, combined with Chance’s affinity for choirs and public speaking, it seems likely he’d be a lock for Pastor of a religious institution. He wouldn’t be the first rapper to try his hand at preaching, nor would he be the only preacher with a gift for rapping.

Given his sprightly energy and resonance with teens and younger adults, his congregation would probably trend toward the more youthful end of the spectrum, and would probably be more progressive than most. Chance seems pretty accepting of different types of people, shunning the fire-and-brimstone of many evangelical sects for a more welcoming, loving version of the Christian faith, which is likely a large part of why Coloring Book was such a big hit with so many on its release.

Hip-Hop Dance Instructor

Watch Chance’s feet in the “Angels” video. You can’t tell me that man doesn’t have the gift of rhythm.

Confession time: The best I can do when it comes to dancefloor maneuvers is the classic drunk uncle two-step. I would definitely sign up for a Chance The Rapper Learn To Juke class. The trademark Chicago dance finds its way into his music as well, both in the form of Justin Bieber-featuring slow burner “Juke Jam” and as one of his energetic ad-libs.

Activist

This one’s pretty obvious since it’s one of the many, many hats Chance already dons on a regular basis — but imagine how much he could do if this was his full-time job. Rahm Emmanuel, who stormed out of a city council meeting just as Chance was taking the podium, would probably pitch fits on the daily if Chance The Rapper became Chance The Full-Time Activist.

Besides speaking out on behalf of the youth of his city, Chance’s music is shot through with a number of the concerns of the average US citizen. In “First World Problems” the Daniel Caesar-featuring song he debuted on Stephen Colbert’s late-night TV show, he details the changes his newfound fortune has brought into his life and contrasts them with the more down-to-earth problems of family and friends. While he certainly spends plenty of his time now trying to address those issues, a Chance The Rapper 100% dedicated to transforming neighborhoods, cities, and the world would be a sight to behold.

Politician

Chance For Mayor.

Actor

Here’s another one Chance is already dipping his toes into with upcoming comedy-horror film Slice, but if Chance completely focused on his in-front-of-the-camera exploits, he could end up a ubiquitous, household name.

He’s not the only rapper of the internet generation to dip into acting; Drake started his career as a television actor and wants to develop more TV shows as a producer. Migos are currently campaigning for roles in the upcoming live-action Lion King remake and writing their own movie to boot. Chance should definitely make the jump from music to acting, as he’s already demonstrated the keen sense of timing required to make it work in the above-mentioned commercials. If Slice turns out to be as enjoyable a romp as it promises to be from its colorful trailer, expect to see a lot more appearances from Chancellor Bennett, thespian, in the future.

Comedian

While we have yet to check out Chance’s comedic chops in his Saturday Night Live hosting gig, he’s obviously a fan of comedy, judging from his late-night Twitter review of critically-panned Will Ferrell vehicle The House. He’s also good friends with professional stand-up comic Hannibal Buress, which could come in handy as he writes jokes, and is rumored to have been one of the inspirations behind ABC’s political sitcom The Mayor, which is about, of all things, a rapper who campaigns for mayor as a promotional gimmick and wins. It’s the circle of life.

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