Martin Shkreli’s Million-Dollar Wu-Tang Clan Album Sale Probably Isn’t Happening For So Many Reasons

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Remember late 2015, when Martin Shkreli bought a one-of-a-kind Wu-Tang Clan album for $2 million? Remember when he put it up for sale on eBay earlier this month? Remember when it was revealed that Once Upon A Time In Shaolin might not even be a real Wu-Tang Clan project? Remember when the album sold for a million dollars anyway, aka about half what Shkreli initially paid for it?

Shkreli’s ownership of Once Upon A Time In Shaolin (and the past couple years of his life in general) has been, to use the most accurate term we can think of, a sh*tshow, but at least he sold the album and the saga is finally over. Oh, how we wish that was true: It turns out that Wu-Tang affiliate Matt “M-Eighty” Markoff says there are several reasons why the eBay sale will ultimately not go through.

For one, Shkreli hasn’t been able to finalize the sale since Hillary Clinton’s hair landed him in jail. Secondly, the winning bidder, a Colorado resident named Darby Welch, has yet to make any sort of payment because he might have been Shkreli’s accomplice in driving up the bidding price. Markoff says:

“I’m extremely confident that in light of Martin’s recent incarceration, there’s potential that the eBay auction will not hold up. There is doubt the buyer is a qualified candidate who has the requisite funds, meets sellers specific deadlines, and is a real candidate versus a friend of the seller who may have intentionally bid up the auction in hopes of reaching a greater sales potential.”

Furthermore, Markoff himself says he’s been negotiating with Shkreli about buying the album, and even submitted a formal offer. He says that as of now, he’s 70 percent sure he will end up owning Once Upon A Time In Shaolin:

“If the 70 percent faith outweighs the 30 percent of my reservations largely based off the follow through of the seller, then once all tangibles and intangibles are reviewed to my satisfaction, I look forward to proceeding with the sale. It’s for not only the benefit of myself, but more importantly hip-hop and Wu-Tang fans worldwide who have yearned to hear this unique album for more than two years.”

At this point, somebody just get the album out of Shkreli’s hands for real so we can stop talking about him, please and thank you.