5 reasons why ‘Lizzie Borden Took an Ax’ is going to be amazing

It’s basically common knowledge that no one does so-bad-they’re-amazing movies quite like the Lifetime network. And their newest, which will tell the tale of Lizzie Borden, the young woman who was accused of murdering her parents back in 1893, is a perfect choice for the trashy but amazing Lifetime brand. The trailer for “Lizze Borden Took an Ax” was released today, and man is it going to be a special, special movie. Here are 5 reasons why.

1. It stars Christina Ricci, and as we know from her portrayal of Wednesday Addams, Christina Ricci as a cold-blooded psychopath is her best incarnation.

2. It appears Miss Ricci will be doing quite a bit of eye acting — which is, of course, the mark of any good-bad thriller, where the dialogue is so iffy that the story must truly be told through shocked facial expressions.

3. Also, some blood-curdling screaming is to be expected! I’m putting my popcorn on now.

4. The number of times Ricci’s Lizzie looks surprised in this 30-second trailer makes me think that perhaps the movie will be floating some alternate theories on who really murdered the Bordens. Theories such as “the maid did it” and “Lizzie did it, but while in a zombie state.’

5. This is a movie about ax murdering, you guys. And of all the kinds of murdering in the world, ax murdering is the very best kind of murdering.

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