81 random thoughts from watching ‘Daredevil’ episodes four, five, and six

Welcome back, “Daredevil” fans. If you”re just joining us, head over here to see what I thought – literally – about the first three episodes of Marvel and Netflix”s inaugural team-up.

With “Daredevil” eschewing the traditional format of television by releasing the entire first season at once, recapping becomes a bit tricky. Binge-watch the entire series in one go and I risk spoiling everything and being stoned in the digital streets. But binge-watch too slowly and I morph into a Slowpoke Pokemon. So I”m splitting the difference!

Over the next couple of weeks, I”ll be giving my thoughts on Marvel”s “Daredevil” in all their stream-of-consciousness glory. Follow along! Or don”t. I”m a recapper, not a cop.

Episode Four – “In the Blood”

Image Credit: Marvel/Netflix

#1. Siberian prisons are not up to code. Not even the guards get coats.
#2. There”s a pun about the Rib of Adam/Alexi but I can”t find it.
#3. Okay, maybe the Russians have a good reason not to be overly concerned with Glasses business casual menace. 
#4. Claire yells at cats in their native tongue. Superhero sidekicks, they”re just like us!
#5. Is Claire a jerk for throwing Matt his shirt or is she like a Velociraptor testing the fences? Either way, nice catch, blind guy.
#6. Human traffickers masquerading as a taxi service is literally my urban nightmare.
#7. Glasses feels way too safe surrounded by Russian goons. Please let this arrogance eventually lead to a schadenfreude of face punching. 
#8. Mr. Urich is like, “No, shady construction company liquidation is not the hill you want to die on.”
#9. What exactly are Karen”s “past activities” and does it explain why she was adept at putting a man”s eyes out?
#10. So Mr. Urich brought down the Italian Mafia? How is this dude still alive?
#11. Rise Semyon. RISE, KING OF THE RED SHIRTS.™
#12. Farewell sweet Red Shirt™ Prince. You were too beautiful for this world.
#13. Claire”s neighbor kid is having a comically bad week.
#14. Fisk: Proving social awkwardness doesn”t have to be a hinderance to a meteoric ascent to super-villain status.
#15. “A woman can that can be bought isn”t worth having,” says the man running a slave trade.
#16. In this moment, Foggy is all of us. We are all Foggy, wondering if we made terrible life choices.
#17. Daredevil”s real superpower is performing parkour in penny loafers.
#18. Obviously Claire didn”t watch that Dateline special about how to unscrew a brake light from the trunk and signal for help.
#19. Or Claire”s hands were tied and I”m a jerk for assuming this show would needlessly damsel a woman.
#20. Today I learned the Spanish word for ‘taxi” is taxi.
#21. Fisk fared much better at the farm than family dogs usually do.
#22. Petition to have Claire”s maniacal laugh always precede Daredevil beating up bad guys.
#23. Daredevils descend from the same species as Predator, only without the telltale shimmer.
#24. Bless this show for letting women help save themselves! That was a very satisfying “THONK” sound.
#25. Urich”s sources wind up dead, but he”s still kicking. Seriously, who is/was protecting him?
#26. Claire must really like Matt to let a blind guy patch her up when she could do it herself in the mirror.
#27. In the world of organized crime, cockblocking carries the death penalty.

Episode Five – “World on Fire”

Image Credit: Marvel/Netflix

#28. That kitchen wall does not look structurally sound.
#29. Matt Murdock only eats organic jam AND understands consent.
#30. Five episodes in, and we finally get an explanation of how Daredevil sees…slow burn is slow.
#31. Matt noooo, you cut off the head of the snake and you just create two more. Power fills a vacuum!
#32. The man in the mask went out of his way not to kill your Red Shirt™ (a gift you squandered). A jump to messy decapitation seems out of character? But Machiavellian thinking is not Vladimir”s strong suit.
#33. Of course the lady crime lord who blinds her employees thinks washing blood and brains out of a car is hilarious.
#34. Leland has a stun gun in storage? That”s adorable.
#35. Welp, couldn”t keep that spotless “no innocent fatalities” record forever.
#36. The show is really getting their money”s worth out of that scaffolding and white plastic sheeting.
#37. Karen remembers way more from high school Spanish than I do.
#38. “You don”t have to reveal your identity to help solve violent crime,” poster behind Matt as he sits in the police precinct. I see what you did there.
#39. How often do you think those cops have had Internal Affairs called on them over a shooting a criminal during questioning? They were pretty blasé about the concept of getting caught.
#40. For the Voldemort of Hell”s Kitchen, lots of dudes ready to roll over on Fisk for a deal.
#41. You go Foggy! Put that bleach-blonde suit in her place. BYE FELICIA.
#42. Nothing conspicuous about a cop standing around in the dark alley looking nervous. Nope.
#43. Vanessa smells a rat but at least he”s an honest rat. Girlfriend is putting her head in the lion”s mouth with eyes half-open.
#44. Sooo, what did Fisk and Glasses do with the remainder of Vladamir”s head?
#45. Is chocolate milk colored water really better than no water?
#46. Considering Matt”s blind, he did a pretty good job picking out clothes for Claire.
#47. I really want Murdock and Oliver Queen to have a “I”LL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO PROTECT MY CITY” gritty voice-off.
#48. A man who has lucky cufflinks shouldn”t throw shade at princes in ascots.
#49. Vanessa was way more prepared for this date than I expected. Once more, “Daredevil” shines in letting the women be capable and have agency.
#50. Ew, is Karen drinking that tap water? GIRL NO.
#51. If Matt doesn”t disguise himself as one of Madame Gao”s minions by the end of this season, it will be a HUGE missed opportunity.
#52. The roofs, the roofs, the roofs are on fire.
#53. I guess Fisk”s plan was to take Vanessa home before the fireworks if she hadn”t been turned on by Lawful Evil men?
#54. Matt forgot the first rule of vigilante-ing. When shit explodes, cops will blame whoever”s standing around punching people.

Episode Six – “Condemned”

Image Credit: Marvel/Netflix

#55. Is there a single cop in Hell”s Kitchen besides the dude with the cigar-smoking mom that isn”t on the take?
#56. In a world where cops are the enemy, Russian sex traffickers become an unwitting ally.
#57. Okay, Daredevil opening credits. Stop taunting me with the suit and make good already!
#58. Urich knows way more about the various Manhattan mafia organizations than is healthy for a man not being bribed for his silence.
#59. Someone please dub Yakety Sak overtop Matt running through the streets with a Russian mobster flung over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. 
#60. Vladimir is really slow on the uptake for a survivor. 
#61. Daredevil writers are not afraid to throw shade as movie-style bullet wound stabilization procedures.
#62. Wound cauterization is a waaaaay more labor intensive process than I anticipated. I am devastated and betrayed by the Hollywood machine.
#63. MVP award goes once again the plastic sheeting in the background.
#64. Solitary cop goes looking for a masked vigilante because he”s green as hell.
#65. Found the one cop not on Fisk”s payroll! Kid”s got gumption. Dumb as a box of bricks, but gumption for days.
#66. Urich rolls on up to be a wrench in the dirty cop clean-up process because he is apparently made of mafia-proof Teflon. 
#67. Vladimir implies he wasn”t always a bad guy. Now wondering what he and his brother did to end up in Siberia. Russia”s government isn”t actually a paragon of virtue.
#68. Dammit Vladamir, ENUNCIATE! 
#69. Matt Murdock has a landline because he”s secretly 80 years old.
#70. Still can”t tell if Karen is really into Foggy and her interest in Matt is more curiosity or if she”s got the hots for them both.
#71. Russian mobsters have more lives than a cat!
#72. What did that poor chair ever do to you, Matt Murdock?
#73. Fisk reminds Matt that the Russian was trafficking people, conveniently leaving out it was on Fisk”s orders.
#74. “Others will take my place.” People like Jessica Jones and Iron Fist and Power Man maybe?
#75. In the game of Hell”s Kitchen, you win or you die.
#76. “General rule: guy”s who wear masks have something to hide and it isn”t good,” says Foggy with a straight face in a world where superheroes are real. 
#77. To be fair, none of the Avengers have secret identities. Maybe Daredevil (and Iron Fist and Power Man and Jessica Jones) willingness to punch problems into oblivion will be part of the sticking point for Civil War?
#78. That has to be what Spider-Man”s bullet dodge looks like without the slow motion.
#79. “Daredevil” is making me care about slave trafficker and I don”t know how to process this.
#80. Now it not the time for dramatic sauntering, Matt. Now is the time for ungainly fleeing.
#81. The most unrealistic thing so far about “Daredevil” is asking me to believe the tunnels under the city aren”t populated with a hobo civilization.