‘Big Brother’ recap: Will Aaryn keep her promise to Helen this week?

07.29.13 6 years ago 14 Comments

I never thought Aaryn would be HoH for a second time, largely because I thought she’d have been sent home by this point in the game, but wonders never cease on “Big Brother,” do they? By some incredible stroke of luck (or a very precise throwing arm), Aaryn is the queen of the castle this week — which means almost anything could happen. The only guarantee? Clowny the creepy clown is back! Mwahahahahaha!

It seems that taking the reigns does nothing to tamp down Aaryn’s brand of casual racism, though. She announces she’s said “axed” instead of “asked,” which she blames on Candice, whom I’ve never actually heard say “axed” in the first place. Apparently by virtue of being African-American, she’s rubbed some street talk all over Aaryn somehow, like contagious warts or chunky peanut butter. We cut to a creative montage of serious, pained looks from the other hamsters that probably didn’t happen at exactly that moment, but are entertaining nonetheless. 

Though Aaryn had promised Helen she would knock out whoever she asked her to if she became HoH (which I don’t think even Helen fully believed was a possibility), the rest of the episode is all about throwing red herrings at us like a Hitchcock film festival. First, Helen gets in a snit about the fact Candice has heard about her deal with Aaryn. Of course, it was hardly a big secret, but she’s sure Elissa is the blabbermouth, possibly because she’s always the blabbermouth. For a hot minute, Helen is open to the idea of kicking her fellow Mom Squad member to the curb. Wha? Yes, Elissa is increasingly a liability, but I don’t think it’s possible to downplay the fact that the Mom Squad alliance was Helen’s first real alliance in the house. To push Elissa out the door might be smart game play, but it just would throw some serious shade on Helen with the other hamsters. Admitting to Aaryn she’d even consider it may come back to haunt her.

In other news, McCrae and Amanda take a bubble bath together. This would be more scandalous if Amanda wasn’t wearing a bikini. It also might be more romantic if McCrae didn’t fart in the tub while they kiss and whisper “I love yous” to one another. 

A great deal of the rest of the episode is spent on Howard and Spencer taking turns trying to convince Aaryn there are bigger threats in the house, while Aaryn blinks and nods and makes no promises. Neither Howard or Spencer offer Aaryn any kind of deal, however. I’m not sure if realistically they could do much for her, as they haven’t had the best of luck with the whole alliance thing, but I would expect better sales pitches even if they both hate her guts. 

In the contest to determine the Haves and Have Nots, Poppy Montgomery gives them an “Unforgettable” themed brain teaser quest, which ends with Gina Marie, Judd, Candice and Amanda eating slop for the week. Time for gingko biloba, kids!

Oh, and for those who would like to vote, the Have Nots next week can dine on:

Mung beans and mackerel,

Parsnips and pumpernickel,

or figs and falafel


Also of note: Elissa does yoga while wrapped up like a deli sandwich. I’m assuming this warms the muscles or some such, but it does look a little silly. 

Howard subtly convinces Candice to speak her heart to Aaryn (as long as her heart says “save Howie”) which would be a fine idea if Aaryn didn’t have a “Candice Switch,” which causes her to ignore everything that comes out of Candice’s mouth (except, of course, the word “axed”). Afterwards, Candice is sure that not only has she placed a bigger target on her own back, but that Howard has played her. He tries to talk to her, and she tells him “everything’s fine” (which it clearly isn’t) and that she needs some time alone (which she clearly does).

Time for nominations! And by the way, isn’t it time to come up with something more high tech than that stupid key circle doodad the HoH has to drag out of a closet each week? What year is this, anyway?

Gina Marie is safe.

Jessie is safe.

Andy is safe.

Elissa is safe. Huh!

Candice is safe.

Helen is safe.

McCrae is safe.

Amanda is safe.

Last key goes to… Judd.

So, Spencer and Howard are on the block. Helen is thrilled that Aaryn stuck to her deal — although the MVP could screw up everything. I doubt that, though I’d be sorry to see Howard go. Despite his tendency to lie and create secret alliances, he seems like a nice enough guy. Spencer, well, all I can say is he’s been slightly less racist while in the house than Aaryn has, so… yay.

Who do you think will be the third nominee? Do you think Aaryn should have broken her promise to Helen? What do you think of yoga in plastic wrap? 

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