Theme parks are a lovely place for recreational trauma. Go in, shove hot delicious sugary food-adjacent things in your face and scream yourself silly while being put in (mostly) simulated danger. If you shriek a bunch and vomit next to a trash can, Macy’s will ask you to leave. Meanwhile, Disneyland’s pair of parks are always a perpetually busy hub for screaming and freaking yourself out because you paid for the privilege.
Disney’s California Adventure has “re-themed” their previous The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror attraction and turned it into the more Drax-friendly Guardians of the Galaxy – Mission: Breakout! ride. The drop tower style attraction is now open for business and as local news is wont to do, Fresno’s ABC 30 news was there for the soft opening. Reporter Cory James joined some riders for the live broadcast and to put it as diplomatically as possible… dude loses his sh*t on this ride. As the girls behind him rock out in Captain America t-shirts to the blasting Pat Benatar, Cory is freaking out and it’s a hilarious sight to behold. Part of the reason for that is that there are Groot gloves in play. GROOT GLOVES! YOU HEAR ME?
The newsroom cracks up hard watching their colleague clearly express how uncomfortable he is on the ride and you will too. Still, I feel bad for Cory. What else were his options? No sell the ride? Attempt to throw his arms up and yell “COWABUNGA?” Eat a meatball sub? He should lean into his ride reaction style and get payola from local parks to freak out on their rides on live TV.