HBO has given us one sexy Pope in ‘The Young Pope’

10.04.16 3 years ago

Clip It: Each day, Jon Davis looks at the world of trailers, featurettes, and clips and puts it all in perspective.

Damn, HBO has given us a sexy Pope. You know The Young Pope is cool because this Pope smokes cigarettes, prays at the bottom of a pool, and doesn't take crap from anyone. Anyone! Plus, he's American, so he's speaking English up in the Vatican, y'all. When The College of Cardinals had their Pope choosing ceremony, they wanted something different this time; they wanted a cool cat like Jude Law. (And it wasn't black smoking rising out of the Sistine Chapel this time.. ahem.) 

 I can get behind this Pope. If you're with him, you know you're rolling deep with the best party people. He's gonna set you up with primo bottle service, play some Montell Jordan's' “This is How We Do It,” and you and your friends will twerk all night long. 

The next morning, you're eating breakfast at Denny's all hung over from the craziest night ever and one Cardinal is like, “I'm not gonna tip the waitress, I spent too much on the strippers,” and the Pope is not having that. “You give them 25%, or you're excommunicated bro, spread that chedda' baby, we treat people right up in here, cause that's how Jesus do, playas.” 

And then the Pope stands up and says, “I got Pope stuff to do, I'll catch you on the flip. Send the bill to Catholic Church, baby, you're all absolved of all your sins, especially you Monica.” Then he finger points at Monica (a character I just made up) and she's like, “It's all good.” And the Pope adds, “In the hood.” Everyone cracks up. 

I'm gonna guess the credit sequence. As the Pope climbs the church steps, we hear Prince singing over the soundtrack, “You can be the President/ I'd rather be the Pope/ You can be the side-effect/ I'd rather be the dope.” And the nuns snap their fingers and do a little two-step. 

Oh yeah, HBO, you got this.  

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