5 dumb questions for Jenny Mollen

Jenny Mollen is so very many things. She’s an actress who’ll soon be appearing in the 3rd season of FX’s “Wilfred” alongside Elijah Wood and that weird furry. She’s a writer whose book of comedic essays called “I Like You Just The Way I Am” is due out next year. And she basically rules the Internet with her Twitter and Instagram feeds, as well as her hilariously bawdy column for Playboy’s Smoking Jacket.

Jenny is an incredibly smart and funny woman who isn’t afraid to share the most intimate, fucked-up details of her life if it means people will get a laugh or two out of it. And best of all, she was willing to answer some super dumb questions for Riot.

Jenny! Tell me, what superpower would you most like to have? I think the power of persuasion would be the greatest superpower of all time. Don’t you? Say yes, damn it!!! [Ed. Note: “Yes.”]

What conspiracy theories do you maybe believe in? I believe that Ginnifer Goodwin is also Jennifer Morrison.

Invent a fad diet, please: My fad diet would be eating strictly pita and hummus all day. I guess water would also be permitted.

What is your least favorite song of all time and how come? My least favorite song is “Doo Wop” by Hansen. I can just totally picture it being played full blast at Guantanamo. [Ed. Note: Jenny means “Mmmbop,” you guys, and the fact that she called it “Doo Wop” is kind of the cutest and greatest thing of all time, but is also more dignity than the song deserves.]

Fuck, marry, kill (choose from anyone): Fuck Gina, marry Teets, kill Harry. (My dogs.)

(Gina, Teets, Harry)