Real Housewives of New Jersey’ recap: ‘Best Friends for Never

06.18.12 6 years ago

Andrei Jackamets/Bravo

In the world of Real Housewives, this qualifies as a can’t miss episode. No more fun and games, bratty kids, gay weddings or passive aggressive catfights. This hour is all about the big inevitable showdown between Jacqueline and Teresa. And Caroline’s inner timebomb finally goes off.

This involves a lot of screaming, yelling, petty accusations and even tears (mostly from Jacqueline). It’s exactly what “Housewives” fans love to see, and exactly why so many people can’t stand the show.

The episode had only two relatively important revelations leading up to the main event: the Giudices are building a garage in their yard (which looks suspicious to some people because they’re still in bankruptcy, and also it’s apparently very similar to Joe Gorga’s carport) and Jacqueline has a Skype discussion with Ashlee’s dad about Ashlee’s ongoing bad behavior.

The garage is important because it’s the latest bit of Giudice gossip designed to stir everyone up and make Teresa complain about how everyone else is jealous. The Skype discussion is important (probably) because it sets up Jacqueline as being in a particularly vulnerable position.

It’s in this state of vulnerability that Jacqueline decides she absolutely must confront Teresa about the non-stop tabloid stories that keep coming out about the Giudices RIGHT NOW.

Are they bankrupt? Is Joe cheating? Is Teresa going to jail? Jacqueline can’t keep up anymore: she doesn’t know what to believe, she doesn’t know what Teresa might have sold to the tabloids herself, and she just wishes Teresa would be honest and direct about all of these issues when they talk.

So Teresa arrives at Jacqueline’s house to talk, and Jacqueline almost immediately breaks down crying: “I keep having to hear things in the press about you, and I don’t hear it from you.” She pulls out the tabloid article and asks Teresa to explain what’s true. Teresa volunteers her attorney’s phone number if Jacqueline wants the full story.

Although Teresa insists the tabloid has everything wrong — she’s not going to jail — Jacqueline just wants answers. She asks where all the money they’re using to build the garage is coming from, and if Teresa is paid by the tabloids. Teresa claims she doesn’t get money for stories and doesn’t have a contract to sell stories, which directly contradicts what Jacqueline heard in the past.

Teresa doesn’t understand what’s happening, telling the camera: “I don’t know if Jacqueline’s crazy… She’s like Hekyll and Jyde, like one minute she’s one person and then another person!”

And then Jacqueline brings up Teresa having a Twitter conversation with (former cast member) Danielle, which Jacqueline considers a direct act of disloyalty. She calls it a sign that Teresa is “tempting” Danielle back into their lives. Teresa insists Danielle tweeted her first, and this mystery social media incident apparently involves Danielle trying to out Melissa as a source for information on Teresa. Teresa, jumping at any chance to diss Melissa, thanked Danielle publicly for the tweet. Jacqueline was offended

Once the subject turns around to Melissa, Teresa freaks out. Jacqueline tries to get Teresa to calmly consider how silly some of her family feuds are, but now there’s no turning back. Teresa starts shrieking about Melissa’s jealousy.

Then Caroline walks in. Teresa feels ambushed. And she probably should. It’s never entirely clear why Caroline turned up at just this moment.

Caroline tells the camera the only way to separate Teresa from her lies is to blind side her — and Caroline is proud of herself for doing just that. This leads to more arguing and Caroline finally confronting Teresa about the tabloid story where Caroline was called out as one of Teresa’s enemies. Jacqueline engages in a little game of role playing trying to show Teresa how she could’ve calmly and rationally approached that tabloid article with Caroline if Teresa really felt bad about it. Of course, this doesn’t work.

More ugly screaming, yada yada yada… and Jacqueline announces that can’t handle it and wants to distance herself from Teresa. Teresa looks at this decision as a “friendship divorce” and Jacqueline turning on her.

Jacqueline seems genuinely broken up about this (and remember it’s not that long ago that the show was reminding us about her strained relationship with Ashlee), while Teresa and Caroline continue to stubbornly stand their ground. Teresa gives Jacqueline a kiss goodbye and leaves the house, now seemingly without a single friend or alliance left on the show.

What did you think of Teresa and Jacqueline’s big blowout?

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