Welcome to Reality TV Roundup — a quick look at some of the reality TV-centric stories that have recently popped up across the fine, old Interwebs. Click away, my couch potato friends. But before you do…
SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! One more time: SPOILER ALERT. If you watch any competition shows, the latest elimination for each show is probably revealed in the text below. The hope is that, if you missed this week’s program and would rather clear out your DVR than watch the episode, you can get a quick hit here. But don’t come crying to me if you find out something you didn’t want to know. You’ve been warned. Also note: lots of non-competition reality info lurks below, too.
COMPETITION REALITY SHOWS
THE AMERICAN BAKING COMPETITION
On this show, regular people bake stuff, judges taste it and curl their lips in disgust. And there’s lots of frosting!
AMERICAN IDOL
Nicki Minaj is “leaving” “American Idol.” This is code for “not asked back and they changed the locks.”
Mariah Carey is also “leaving.” Gosh, who’s going to tear out a weave next season? What is this, a singing competition or something?
THE BACHELORETTE
Melinda and I totally make gagging sounds over “The Bachelorette” in our podcast. Not really, but close.
Speaking of “The Bachelorette,” some of these guys are hot. Just look at them. I didn’t say there were all hot. And some appear to be wearing make-up for the photo shoot, poor things. But you be the judge.
Here is the extremely white rap video Des and the boys made with Soulja Boy, who probably regretted his involvement within minutes.
Oh, and hey! Here’s what happened in the first episode. Read all about the creepy guy who wants to drag Des off by her hair to his “fantasy suite.”
Don’t get too attached to Brandon. He made a bomb threat against a General Motors plant in 2005.
DANCING WITH THE STARS
Cheryl Burke isn’t leaving! In case you thought she might! Or at least, she doesn’t want to!
SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE
The show finds talent and nuts in a round of Boston auditions.
THE VOICE
Adam Levine feels really rotten about saying he hates this country. So, you know, don’t kick him out.
NON-COMPETITION REALITY TV SHOWS
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY
Tamra has an anger management problem. But is it really her fault?
MISC.
Discovery comes up with the best series title ever for the all-nude nudes of “Naked & Afraid.”
There’s a special coming called “Sex: How It Works.” For those of you who don’t know yet.
If you didn’t get enough tornado coverage, Discovery has a special just for you.
Kim Kardashian will reveal the sex of her baby on the season premiere of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Still don’t care.