Recap: ‘America’s Next Top Model’ – ‘Smile and Pose’

04.07.10 9 years ago

Welcome to the next episode of “ANTM,” Cycle 14! Anslee is still in the running, and she”s a mom, so it was only a matter of time before she got a letter from her child and started to cry.

“It”s like walking around feeling empty,” Anslee blubbers, and she isn”t referring to the typical model starvation.

[Full recap of Wednesday’s (April 7) “America’s Next Top Model” after the break…]

Miss Jay meets the girls at Roosevelt Island. The lesson: learning to work with a male model. The guinea pig: Nigel Barker. Each girl has to “meet” him and put him at ease. Angelea asks way too many questions and does a ridiculous dance. Alexandra also tries too hard, providing her measurements. Tatianna flat out makes Nigel miserable. Anslee has to talk about her baayyyybeee.

And then comes Jessica, who tries to make a baby with Nigel on the tram. It”s almost physically painful to watch. That leads to the first challenge, which is to pose in an intimately-themed paparazzi-style shoot with comedian Ross Mathews. Seventeen mag editor Ann Shoket will be looking on, and choosing the winner later, along with Nigel.

“He isn”t the most handsome gentleman in the entire world,” Raina remarks. Well, reer to you too. Missy, that young gay man had better seem hot to you, because if you don”t manage to fake it, some else wins the challenge and gets $6,500 worth of diamonds. In the end, Raina pins Ross on the ground, which brings him under control. Angelea, meanwhile, hasn”t learned anything about posing since last episode; she tries to throw a leg over his head; Nigel is annoyed. Jessica takes control in much the same way as Raina, with good results. Tatianna flounders; so does Alexandra.

Despite her near-rape of Nigel at Roosevelt Island, Jessica wins the challenge and scores the diamonds. Alasia, who came out on top at the last panel, also gets a fancy bauble.

Back at the house, Anslee gets back to what”s expected of her: Crying. She gets on the blower and cries to Daddy about missing the bayyyybeee.

Tyra Mail! The tease is something about finding out who keeps it real, versus who is fake. At Canal Street in Chinatown, the models are shown knockoff bags, which the Jays are perusing. Then there”s a fake bust; I have a feeling the irony was lost on all participants. In order to raise awareness of fake goods, there”s going to be a photo shoot all about, well, fakery. Fake tans, fake furs, etc.

Tatianna doesn”t seem to know what to do with all her fakeness. Still, it seems like she got a few decent shots. Raina continues to further our theory that she may be unbeatable. Challenge winner Jessica arrives next, and she shows a terrifically creative new side of herself. Long, tall Krista uses her limbs to good effect, but Brenda just looks asleep.

In hair and makeup, Anslee looks like she wants to crawl into a hole and dissolve. In front of the camera, she clearly thinks she”s delivering edge, but instead she looks, in the words of Mr. Jay, “lost.”

“It”s like you are constipated with the fashion today, seriously!” Jay declares. Anslee makes the mistake of saying she had a rough morning.

Octomom is up next. Angelea seems to please Mr. Jay greatly, but nothing as extraordinary as stealth contender Jessica. Alexandra, usually Mr. Jay”s favorite, falls short, but he doesn”t seem to be too hard on her. I suspect she”s still safe.

She beats herself up back at the house, but the usually snarky Krista is supportive and kind.

Panel time! Former supermodel and Halston muse Pat Cleveland is the guest judge.

The judges are impressed by Krista and even the corpselike Brenda. Alexandra”s pose is ho-hum. Tatianna spurs Andre Leon Talley to call her “the blase broken doll.” But like most of her shoots, Tyra had to fish and hunt to find the best frame.

Anslee is another surprise; she delivers an emotional photo that the judges mostly like. Octomom gets universal raves. It”s Jessica, however, is the first to deliver a photo where the feet are off the ground, pleasing the judges even more. Raina, oddly, does just so-so; emotion doesn”t come through her face.

Next is Alasia; the crazy dresser with the schitzoid temper continues to give the judges photos they generally like.

So the callout:

Jessica, Octomom, Krista, Alasia, Anslee, Brenda, Raina. That leaves the coroner and Alexandra.

So who goes home? Alexandra gets dressed down for not knowing what to do with her body; Tatianna is called out for continuing to coast on luck.

The coroner is put into a body bag and sent away; Alexandra gets to stay another week to show off her sexual napalm.

Did the right girl get sent home?

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