On the season premiere of “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” a lot has changed since cameras stopped rolling last year. Vicki and Tamra haven’t seen one another for seven months, Vicki is about to become a grandmother AND had plastic surgery to look less like Miss Piggy, Slade got an actual job as an annoying radio DJ, Gretchen has to make her morning coffee ALL BY HERSELF, Alexis got a haircut and Heather is planning a clambake. A clambake!
But one thing that hasn’t changed? Alexis is still whining about what happened in Costa Rica. She was bullied, dammit, and having people tell you you are a flawed, materialistic and sort of tacky person is ABUSIVE. Given that things seem to be going well for Alexis, in that the haircut is very flattering, her nose is still straight and she and her husband have finally bought a house, you’d think she’d simply dismiss the dismissal of those other Housewives and dive into her true passion — being a mommy and a wife. Yeah, that Fox 5 gig? She’s not doing that anymore. Or focusing on Alexis Couture. I am guessing this is kind of like what CEOs say when they leave a job, that they want to spend more time with family instead of making a gazillion dollars a year, but whatever. The point is, Alexis has many, many other things to think about than what Heather, Gretchen and Tamra think of her.
The fact that she’s still so deeply offended is a little funny to Gretchen and Tamra, who roll their eyes at Alexis jumping on the “bully trend” train when she could use their comments to, you know, improve herself. I think that’s asking a little too much of Jesus Jugs (Tamra’s name for her), as in the season premiere she has a brand new offense to mull over — that damn clambake.
Heather wants nothing to do with Alexis, so she doesn’t invite her. I didn’t think that was an option for Housewives when they had parties during filming. Invitations seemingly have to be extended, even if they’re politely rejected in favor of root canals and pet funerals. Still, I’m a little disappointed in Heather. Yes, Alexis is being ridiculous and pouty, but I would expect Heather to just suck it up and be the better woman. After all, Alexis could take the focus off the battle royale that could be stirred up in next week’s episode — the reunion of Vicki and Tamra.
It’s hard to believe this relationship has gone so far south, especially when it all started to fall apart over a guy. Thanks to the Internet, we’ve all head that Vicki’s boyfriend Brooks has allegedly been a sort-of deadbeat dad and might have been looking to Vicki for her sugar momma potential. Yes, Tamra could have broached the issue more delicately, but she clearly hated the idea her friend might be being used. Instead of taking Tamra’s input to heart, she screamed like a banshee and defended her loser lover.
Given how the two non-greet one another at the party, it seems like there may be some road bumps before this relationship can be saved. Tamra and Gretchen accidentally dressing like a Barbie twin pack won’t help, either. All Heather needs to do is get into a fight with her husband about the lack of onion rings at the party, and I’ll bet everyone will start thinking having a lone target in Alexis might have been a good idea after all.
Do you think Tamra and Vicki can ever be best friends again? Do you think grandmotherhood will soften up Vicki? Do you think Heather was petty not to invite Alexis to the clambake?