This Week in Incest: In bed with Mother

05.17.13 5 years ago


When last we spoke of incest, rumors were circulating about the decades-long affair between Jaime and Cersei on “Game of Thrones” and Norma was inserting herself deeper and deeper into her son’s life on “Bates Motel.” Also, half of Iceland began taking precautionary measures to ensure they weren’t accidentally banging their cousins. A whole week has gone by since then, and it has brought with it many more gifts of incestuous content. Here’s all the latest on the last taboo.


Bates Motel: Before we get to the incest, I feel it’s important to note that this week’s episode introduced us to a character named RA’UF, which is the most head-scratchy moniker to hit White Pine Bay since we met the girl named Bradley. However you might be picturing Ra’uf, I guarantee it’s incorrect. Anyway, it takes most of the episode to get there, but we eventually arrive inside Norman’s bedroom along with Norma, who asks if she might sleep in there with him. Not on the floor, or in the bed while Norman takes the floor, but inside the single bed with her son. He consents and they cuddle up together — and then we see Norman become visibly aroused in the most uncomfortable way. Look closely and you can see him pop a ra’uf beneath the covers.

The Borgias: This week’s episode puts sibling-lovers Cesare and Lucrezia in separate geographical locations, but the effects of their tryst are still lingering. When Cesare meets a clever and fun noblewoman named Charlotte, all signs point to her being an excellent choice for a bride. However, she has one giant flaw that Cesare has a hard time overlooking: she is not his sister.

Arrested Development: The first trailer for the new season of “Arrested Development” came out this week, and it indicates that sexual tensions are still running high between George Michael and his kissing cousin Maeby. Basically, Michael enters what appears to be George Michael’s dorm room and finds a nervous GM in there with Maeby. “Oh, there is kind of a girl here… you didn’t say it was your cousin.”


The Lonely Island: Did you miss it? The Lonely Island released a new song this week and it’s called “I Fucked My Aunt.” It is not metaphorical at all! Plus, T-Pain is featured, and it sounds like he has fucked his aunt as well… and also his auhnt.


Fallen in Love: Live in London? Into historical incest? Then “Fallen in Love: The Secret Heart of Anne Boleyn” is for you. The play explores pre-Queen Anne’s co-dependent, way-too-close relationship with her brother George. Historically, the two were both accused of incest, and George was eventually arrested and charged with one count of sister-diddling.


The Kissing Family: The news that Bill Hader won’t be back for another season of “SNL” means that we must say goodbye to many beloved characters, including Dwayne Vogelcheck of Too Damn Much Kissing Vogelchecks. Now watch this clip and kiss the sketch farewell:

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