Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a sentiment for the day, from the video “B*tches Love Me” by Lil Wayne, featuring Future and Drake: “She said ‘I never want to make you mad / I just want to make you proud’ / I said ‘Baby just make me cum / Then don’t make a sound.'”
If that mild form of female oppression doesn’t get your heart a-racing, try writing this sentiment in a card: “These hoes got pussies like craters / Can’t treat these hoes like ladies… Girl, I f*ck who I want and f*ck who I don’t / Got that A1 credit, that’s that filet mignon.”
Delicious! Say yes to another date and there’s a promise of another meal: “She wake up, eat this d*ck / Call that breakfast in bed, $69.96.”
All from the delicate fountain pen of “I Am Not A Human Being” human being Lil Wayne, who just got shushed and shut down by his verse on a remix to Future’s “Karate Chop.” (The offending phrase referred to a brutal murder that helped to spark a civil rights movement: “Beat that pussy up like Emmett Till.” Because haha vagina haha mauling and torture haha.)
Also, did you know that Lil Wayne skates? Because Lil Wayne wants you to know, for sure, that Lil Wayne skates.
All this to say that Lil Wayne used to spit some great verses, but with the completion of some recent tracks, fans can only count on him being gross and sloppy, returning to the blood red well (who’s blood? what water?) of sex and violence.
For the rest of the clip — with so much kink and death, you’d think Lady Gaga had a hand — Drake just kinda throws his arms around being Drakey. Ballot’s still out on Future because he can work that mumble around this beat, but neither he nor Drizzy even take a turn at bat for a verse.
But you can totally tell they’re badasses because they keep their bitches animals in cages, mirite?
Were Aaliyah around to hear her song referenced, she’s shake her head and shut this down, too. As gorgeous, tantalizing and controversy-courting as the “Love Me” video is, it can’t save a bad track.
“My B*tches Love Me” — or, buy its clean title “Love Me” — has so many uses of the term “b*tch” blanked out, it might as well be instrumental. Suffice it to say it’s a contestable third single from “I Am Not A Human Being II,” the release of which has been continually delayed and currently sits at March 26.