Watch: My name is Clark Kent and I’m and alcoholic

There has always been something a little suspect about Clark Kent. I mean, first of all, “Clark Kent”? That’s a fake name you come up with when you’re on the run from 3 different mobs and 25 unpaid parking tickets. Also, those ultra-thick glasses are a pretty comical disguise — why not just go with a stick-on mustache?

I’m happy to tell you that finally, the truth about Clark has been revealed thanks to actor Joe Clabby. Alert the Daily Planet immediately.

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