Listen, when planning your Super Bowl party menu, we know you need #DINOPTIONs. There is no one-size-fits-all guide to creating the perfect party for you and your friends. Last week, we went over how to host an awesome party even if all your friends are boring health conscious people who know that actually you need to put your kale in a salad spinner to dry it or else your chips will come out soggy. This week, we’re going to go over how to host a party for people that wear sweatpants to Walgreens and enjoy the comedy stylings of Larry the Cable Guy.
For what is the Super Bowl if not a celebration of classic American excess? Who are we to attempt to tone down the bombastic nature of the largest sporting event in the world by serving a sad plate of carrots to be eaten during the pregame show? Nay, my friends, a Super Bowl party menu must go beyond, must attempt to exceed the gall of the game itself with its own over the top disdain for human life.
So buy yourself one of those torso-sized tubs of cheez balls and join me as we delve into the depths of your cardiologist’s worst nightmares.