KSK Midterm Erection Bukkake Ballot – Fantasy Players Who Deserve To Be Shot

11.07.06 11 years ago 59 Comments

We have decided that our midterm Erection Bukkake will now last the entire week. For this vote, choose three of the following ten players listed. Cast your vote in the comments. You may not vote more than once. Electoral fraud could shift the balance of power in the Fantasy Shithouse from douchebags to assbags unfairly, and we can’t let that happen. Polls close at a yet to be determined hour. Results at the end of the week or early next week.

Shaun Alexander:
Crimes: Drafted #1 overall in many leagues, Alexander has played sparingly and underperformed when in the lineup. Foot healed by Jesus, who apparently does not have a specialty in orthopedics. Wife has pancake ass.

Chad Johnson:
Crimes: Continually underperforms despite being perfectly healthy and capable. Infrequent TD celebrations have been unimaginative at best. Being black does not make him exempt from the rule that any guy named Chad is a complete assbag.

Daunte Culpepper:
Crimes: Injured. Shitty. Best season was recent enough to be a complete cocktease. Couldn’t read a defense even if he had a teleprompter installed in his helmet.

Lamont Jordan:
Crimes: Plays for horrific team. May be benched for independent Jewish running back Lieberman Jordan.

Cadillac Williams:
Crimes: Emulates hero Curtis Martin by averaging .0008 yards per carry. Actually managed to overtake Mike Alstott as the most overrated runner in Bucs history.

Edgerrin James:
Crimes: Offensive line is not who he thought they was. Big signing bonus means he eat rots of Benihana food rate at night.

Reggie Bush:
Crimes: Being the next Peter Warrick. Repeatedly mistaking the sideline for the end zone.

Domanick Davis:
Crimes: Did you hold your draft sometime in mid-August? Yeah? Then fuck this guy. Am I right?

Kurt Warner, Drew Bledsoe:
Crimes: Making you think they weren’t washed up when they really have been for ages, but were surrounded by enough skill position talent that you thought maybe, JUST maybe they’d find some old magic and produce great numbers. But they fucking sucked like they always do and now you’re in last place because you had to start Bruce Gradkowski last week. I mean, fuck. Seriously. Fuck.

Cast your vote NOW!

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