Boston Has So Many Wild Bar Fights That They Might Ban All Glassware

Bawstan, this is why you can’t have nice things. The land of Belichick and Big Papi is glass strewn these days. Perhaps fans of the Pats have been partying a little too hard. We get it, Tom Brady is the GOAT and you guys get to celebrate his 5th Super Bowl. Hoist all the drinks you want, just stop using them as weapons.

Have you ever heard of the term “glassed”? This term is very popular in the United Kingdom. Glassing someone is the act of smashing them in the face (or head) with a glass after you finish your drink (or before). It’s definitely not the best way to greet someone and the city of Boston is getting pretty sick of it. Recently, some high-end bars in the city have seen an increase in glassware related incidents.

Recently, two Boston-area bars (Minibar and Bond Lounge) were the site of glass-related fights. In one instance, one patron smashed a bottle over the head of another patron. This happened on New Year’s Eve so it’s fairly likely there was a high level of inebriation (and maybe the Bruins lost). The other incident consisted of one drinker punching and throwing a glass at another patron. No news as to whether or not the argument began because someone was bad mouthing the Splendid Splinter.

Now, this doesn’t seem like a “string” of glass-related violence, but the city is still wicked fed up with it.

“If we see a pattern of glass as a weapon it will no longer be allowed,” Christine Puglini, the chairwoman of Boston’s Liquor Licensing Board told the Boston Globe.

Obviously, this is something the city is taking very seriously. A head butt here and there is fine, but smashing a glass on someone’s head can result in serious injuries. Nobody goes out for a night on the town assuming that they will end the night in a hospital just for a little “I gawt her numbah…”

Others don’t believe that the banning of glassware will really impact bar shenanigans. “It makes no sense to offer a legal drug – alcohol – and blame the outcome on packaging,” Michael Anthony, manager at Boston bar Townsman told the Globe. “So you’re also going to ban forks, knives, fruitcakes and all items that could cause bodily harm, right?”

Overall, banning glassware is probably not the answer. If a fight escalates and one patron wants to hurt another, they’ll probably find a way — even if they’re drinking their beer out of Red Solo cups instead of pint glasses. Just try not to talk about the Yankees after you’ve had a few beers. This should guarantee a lot less fights breakout along the Charles River. How do you like them apples?