A little after 6 p.m. on Thursday night, a 19-year-old with a history of burglary was arrested for trespassing at the Budweiser brewery in St. Louis. This fact, by itself, is not necessarily news. In fact, it’s probably bigger news that teenagers aren’t arrested for trespassing at breweries every day, by the dozens, because teenagers will go to staggering lengths to acquire beer. I once paid a shady 40-year-old coworker something like $50 to buy me a case of Keystone Light, which is madness on at least three or four levels. But that’s not the point here.
The point here, and the reason this story is not just news but maybe a late entry for news story of the year, is that the 19-year-old repeat offender is named Bud Weisser.
THE MAN ARRESTED FOR TRESPASSING AT THE BUDWEISER BREWERY WAS NAMED BUD WEISSER.
From St. Louis Fox affiliate KTVI:
Bud Weisser, 19, was placed under arrest for trespassing at the Budweiser Brewery located at 9th and Arsenal in St. Louis.
Police say Weisser entered a secured area at the brewery at after 6pm on Thursday. Security officers told him to leave and called police after an altercation.
Weisser was taken into police custody. He was issued summonses for trespassing and resisting arrest.
When reached for comment, everyone everywhere said this story is incredible.