It’s Friday, it’s cold as hell, and there’s still two weeks until we all get to take a few days off to celebrate Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and argue with our families about everything from the election to why you still haven’t gotten that promotion when the children of everyone your parents know have somehow managed to become multi-millionaires with perfect families and gleaming f*cking teeth. If there was any time more perfect to say Bah!Humbug! and write this year off as a great big disappointment, we don’t know it.
But don’t go home and pass out just yet! There’s one thing you’ve got to check out before you descend back into your fortress of solitude. It’s Elijah Quashie, 23, who reviews chicken shops on YouTube, and he’s been going viral for the best reason: His reviews are hilarious, his attitude is infectious, and while it’s not fair her has to carry this on his shoulders, he really is the best thing about 2016. Don’t believe it? He goes by the name Chicken Connoisseur. That change things for you?
“Okay, but why?” You may still be asking. We could explain, but why don’t you check out a video for yourself first?
What was your favorite part? The fact that he’s got that furry little microphone? Or was it that he shows off his shoes before trying the chicken? Or is it, as First We Feast points out, how seriously he takes this endeavor, diligently taking in all factors from price to spice in his quest to find the perfect chicken. And his reviews aren’t just of the “I liked it/It stinks!!!” variety. Instead, this dapper-dressed lad is all about praising what’s good and laying devastating smackdowns — “you didn’t even have burger sauce, how can I respect you?” — to fare he considers to be mediocre.
You may not understand all his slang, but you’re going to watch all six videos anyway. Why? Because this young man has heart, he’s got charisma, and, most importantly, he’s got some real thoughts about chicken that will make you take your own feasting more seriously.
Wonder if Running On Empty’s scared yet. The Chicken Connoisseur is definitely giving him a run for his money.