Oh, y’all. It’s true. Free Chipotle burritos. Right now.
Or, well…not right right now, because Chipotle is closed today. Which is the whole reason behind the free burrito vouchers they’re giving out—to apologize for not being open. And, look. I haven’t even been to Chipotle in the past ten years, and I still managed to get my butt on the free burrito train. Because a free burrito is a free burrito, whether or not it contains E. coli, and whether or not that E. coli was PLACED THERE BECAUSE OF ANGRY GMO-PRODUCING BIOTECH COMPANIES. (Simmer down. It’s just a conspiracy theory.)
“But the CDC just declared Chipotle to be E. coli-free last week,” you’re saying. “So, why are they shutting down operations today?” You’re correct, you astute news-follower, you. But this closure has actually been in the works since mid-January, when Chipotle announced it would be holding nationwide safety briefings for all of its restaurants, all at once.
But let’s get back to free burritos, because that’s the important issue here. All you have to do is text the word “raincheck” to the number 888-222 and follow the instructions sent back. And like I said before: It’s completely legit. I’ve already put my name in the hat. (Which you can see below.)
If it sounds like a free lunch to you, then great. Text the number yourself. Right now. Because you have to act fast–the offer ends at 6 p.m. EST.
Is it one big marketing ploy to get millions of people back in the store after nothing but months of bad news and slumping sales? Maybe.
But dang it, it’s a free burrito. You can’t argue with that. (One question, though…is the guac extra?)