A Man Challenges Same-Sex Marriage By Lobbying To Marry His Computer

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It hasn’t even been a full year since Obergefell v. Hodges made same-sex marriage legal across all 50 states, and a few people, such as Kim Davis, are still adjusting to the transition. However, even though the highest court in the country has declared same-sex marriage and that decision is pretty much final, one bold man in Houston believes he can single-handedly take down the Supreme Court with an incredible strategy: he’s going to attempt to marry his laptop.

Lawyer and “hardcore” EDM music producer Chris Sevier, who is no stranger to the world of insane lawsuits or inappropriate relationships with his computer, is back at it again. This time, he has filed a lawsuit in Houston against an unnamed Harris County district clerk, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton for denying him the right to marry his beloved Mac laptop, which to be fair, is probably a pretty nice machine.

In an interview with HoustonPress, Sevier said he doesn’t really care about being on the right side of history. “This is about who is on the right side of reality. Are we just delusional?” He continued, comparing his would-be marriage to an inanimate object to a consensual, same-sex marriage between adults. “Should we have policies that encourage that kind of lifestyle? The state is not doing anyone any favors by encouraging people to live that lifestyle. We have to define marriage.”

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But unfortunately for him and his Macbook, Texas was pretty much like, nah. Even Attorney General Ken Paxton, who was in hot water last year after he said religious freedom clauses would protect county clerks who wanted to deny marriage certificates to same-sex couples, has filed a motion to dismiss Sevier’s case.

According to the HoustonPress, however, Sevier is taking his lawsuits on a nationwide tour. Texas is only the first state. He plans on filing lawsuits in 14 other states, too! And even though he is a lawyer, his license to practice law has actually been suspended since 2011. Guess he has just been too busy with his EDM career. That’s probably why he spends so much time with his laptop in the first place!

As for Sevier and his Macbook, maybe one day they will get lucky and be allowed to at least have a civil union. Until then, Sevier will have to be content to be the guy who just doesn’t get it, not even a little bit.