Life

Discontinued Food Flavors You Might Still Hunger For

Let’s face it: Doritos Rainbows probably aren’t going to be a permanent fixture on supermarket shelves anytime soon. No huge surprise there, they were a specialty item made to support a very worthy cause but the neon colors are a bit much for daily consumption. Regardless, it won’t be the first time a Doritos product came and went. In fact, as snack food and beverage companies jostle for market dominance, adding and discontinuing flavors is commonplace. Occasionally, through the unstoppable force of INTERNET, beloved flavors get a second life (sometimes entire brands get a new life).

When one of these culinary experiments gets cut for good, it leaves behind a core population of very sad devotees. Here are 10 bygone products that might leave you trolling eBay in hopes of finding one last case.

Coca-Cola Blāk

Launched in April 2006, this wondrous coffee-flavored soda beverage was only around for a year before Coca-Cola decided to discontinue it. In remembering the beverage, Instagram and Twitter users seem to be divided into two camps: “Dammit! Bring this back now!” group, and the “That stuff was nasty” contingent. Italy also seems to have had its own coffee-flavored espresso soda for a time, but the website isn’t in service anymore, which means we can only assume that it was pulled from the shelves too. The coffee/soda outlook is bleak, friends.

Pepsi Blue

Ahhh, Pepsi Blue, that berry-flavored, neon-colored drink that never tasted quite right. Intended as a response to Vanilla Coke, this one lasted a whole two years in the U.S. before retiring to that big Crystal Pepsi aisle in the sky. But fear not! If you’re really mourning the loss of this one, take a trip to Indonesia or the Philippines, where it’s still just as blue as you remember it.

 

Citrus Cooler Gatorade

This flavor became popular after Michael Jordan let everyone know it was his favorite back in the ’90s. Because everyone wants to be like Mike.Which makes it all the more surprising that the flavor was discontinued near the end of the decade (although online fans insist that it’s still available in Jordan’s home state of North Carolina.

In January, Gatorade announced that they would temporarily start producing Citrus Cooler again in March, to celebrate the brand’s fiftieth anniversary. Citrus Cooler was back!…and then it was gone again. Still, this one has a huge online following and is likely to resurface at some point (probably whenever MJ’s private stash runs dry). For now, devotees of the flavor will now have to be satisfied drinking the bitter tears of their memories.

Doritos Guacamole

New Doritos flavors come and go like the tides, so of course Doritos’ dip-flavored chip is one casualty among many. In this particular case, translating avocado to powder and then spraying it on a chip just didn’t seem to work too well, so Doritos pulled the flavor in 2006. This one’s got a loyal (albeit small) Facebook group calling for its return. The petition on Change.org even got a whopping 255 supporters asking Doritos to #restockguac.

Mint Skittles

Once upon a time, in a very different world, Mint Skittles—both peppermint and spearmint versions—were available for purchase. To some of us, they were heavenly. We were the select few who could tell the difference between the mintiness levels of each individual shade of green and blue. We were the ones who did not pop Mint Skittles into our mouths and immediately think toothpaste! Sadly, our beloved Mint Skittles were short-lived, both arriving and disappearing somewhere in the mid-2000’s. Which means we’ll have to get our fix from other sources…like actual toothpaste. (Or Mentos, which are essentially the exact same thing.)

Berry Burst Cheerios

The classic cereal mixed with freeze-dried… er… fruit(?) was introduced in 2001 and came in various flavor combinations such as Cherry Vanilla and Strawberry Banana. A mere two years later, the cereal disappeared from the shelves forever. And no, putting berries in your Cheerios, no matter how appetizing it looks, does not make them official Berry Burst. They have to be freeze-dried!

 

Heinz E-Z Squirt Ketchup

Let’s just imagine the scene in the Heinz boardroom, circa early-2000s. There are a bunch of corporate suits gathered around a big table, wondering how they can create a ketchup product that kids will beg their parents to buy them. “Why not try colored ketchup?” someone asks. “You know—green, blue, purple. The kids will go wild for it.” Remarkably, the idea passes muster, and the first month after its launch in October, Heinz sells more colored ketchup than they were anticipating selling in a year. So they add more colors: purple, pink, turquoise, orange. Which is right about when kids realize that colored ketchup is no different than plain old red ketchup, and that it’s actually sort of gross (and dare we say un-American?) to see green and purple squirted all over a stack of fries. Ah, the fickleness of children.

Celery Jell-O

This one is a major throwback, all the way to the ’60s, when Jell-O salads—real, live, savory Jell-O salads with shredded carrots and olives and hard-boiled eggs and other odd ingredients inside—were all the rage. And lest Celery Jell-O didn’t fit the modern housewife’s needs, the company also produced Italian, Mixed Vegetable, and Seasoned Tomato flavors too. We’re actually pretty glad this trend was short-lived.

 

Burger King’s Enormous Omelet Sandwich

These days, breakfast at Burger King is all about the Croissan’wiches (and also those delicious, delicious French toast sticks), but previously—2005, to be more specific—it was about Enormous Omelet Sandwiches. Stacked with eggs, bacon, cheese, and a sausage patty (and ham if you wanted the Meat’normous Omelet Sandwich variation), the breakfast item was just too caloric to remain on the menu. Or maybe it was because they couldn’t think of a clever name like Egg’normous. In any case, if you’re truly devastated about the fact that it’s gone, feel free to abscond to Canada. It’s still an option up there.

Fried Apple Pies at McDonalds

Although those delicious rectangular sticks of dessert-filled goodness have never gone away, we, the American people, have been duped into eating non-fried apple pies for years. Golden Arches, come on! What are you trying to do here, make us healthier? The baked pies quietly replaced their oil-crisped superiors back in 1992, if you can believe it’s been that long since you’ve actually had a satisfying apple pie at McDonalds.

Ready for some good news? Okay, here it is: McDonalds is bringing the fried version back—they’re already available at some franchises in California. Instagram user @likeparadiseintherain says it best above. The crusty little bubbles make us so happy, too.

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