If you’ve spent any time at a Disney park, then you know that the reason California Adventure is so popular is due to the fact that you can get drunk (but not belligerently so) inside the park. Now Disney World in Orlando is turning up and serving beer at four of their finest heftily-priced eateries, bringing the count of places you can get drizzunk in the Magic Kingdom to five.
That’s right, five. (Inside the park, outside is another story.)Forget about the pain of lines and screaming kids and parents forcing their children to stand in Instagram-worthy poses for hours. Forget the high prices and the fact that you’re going to be so far back when the parade rolls through that you won’t see anything. Forget that you’re now too old to truly find the magic while you wander down Main Street. Forget it all! You’re drunk and the world is good and beautiful.
From The Orlando Sentinel, which reported on the boozy new developments:
Tony’s Town Square Restaurant, Liberty Tree Tavern, Jungle Navigation Co. Ltd. Skipper Canteen and Cinderella’s Royal Table will serve the beverages daily during lunch and dinner. They will join Be Our Guest Restaurant, which in 2012 became the first Magic Kingdom eatery to serve alcohol.
Some bad news: You won’t be able to order a bottle of wine and then take it into the park to enjoy while you wait to ride The Matterhorn or Splash Mountain (although that might be a good thing; imagine how terrifying the animatronics would be while sloshed). And, sadly, you won’t be able to just crack the bottle against something when you realize how much a souvenir photo costs. But at least you’ll be able to enjoy beer and wine table-side, which should dull the pain of dealing with the practicalities of Disney and allow you to focus on all that joy and excitement you’re supposed to be feeling.