Listen, f*ck jetpacks. They’re not coming for a while and they look pretty dangerous anyway. Your mom would probably be against you getting one. But you know what she wouldn’t be against? Having your pizza delivered by a robot, which is the ultimate in safety and comfort when ordering three pizzas for $5 each. Thank you, Domino’s, for you have truly blessed us this day.
The New York Daily News reports that the robot — named DRU (which is short for Domino’s Robotic Unit) — has just been unveiled in New Zealand and can carry up to 10 pizzas (enough for one household!) at a time in “its heated compartment.” After an order is placed, the robot will travel to your location and allow you to grab your food by entering a code. The food, of course, is currently being made by humans, but with Carl’s Jr.’s CEO wanting to create a fully automated restaurant, it can’t be long before droids aren’t just delivering but cooking, as well.
The robot isn’t delivering pizzas on the regular yet, but when it starts, it’ll be able to navigate roads with “special sensors” that will allow it to respect the rules of traffic and avoid collision (although if you have to get in a car wreck, hitting the pizza droid doesn’t seem terrible). But that’s not what everyone’s truly worried about. According to NYDN, the real fear is that DRU (which is both adorable and holds pizzas) will be misused by the public, who will either try to steal the delicious treasures it’s carrying or grab it and take it home with them. And then what will Domino’s do?
“Excuse me, sir, did you see our robot? It’s missing….”
Or will they start arming the machines with knockout gas? The best way to make sure that the robot isn’t hassles is probably to teach it how to speak and then program it to let any thief know how upset and disappointed it is that it’s being taken advantage of when it’s a machine just trying to do its job. “Are you being the person your fourth-grade teacher envisioned for you?” would be a good line to use on most people who still have some semblance of a heart and/or soul.
But, come on, why would you mess with a robot who’s bringing you pizza? It’s the only entity that won’t judge you for how much you order AND you’ll finally be able to answer the door and collect your food naked and not get arrested. Who would screw up such a good thing?