Eating Ice Cream For Breakfast May Turn You Into A Brilliant Mastermind

Last thanksgiving we learned that farting — no matter how much you did it — wouldn’t help you lose weight. Today, we learned that diet sodas are actually making you hungrier and trying to kill you. Great! Is there anything that’s too-good-to-be-true that science won’t ruin with facts and data? Wait, we’re getting a vision. No, it’s more like a brain-freeze. A brain-freeze with a newsflash: EAT ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST, BECOME THE GENIUS YOU ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE.

Uh-oh, maybe that went a little far, but here’s the good news: A Japanese scientist says that making ice cream an important part of your well-balanced breakfast will make your life better (and not just because ice cream tastes so good some of us would do anything for a Klondike bar).

From The Telegraph:

Yoshihiko Koga, a professor at Tokyo’s Kyorin University, has carried out a series of clinical trials in which test subjects were required to eat ice cream immediately after waking up.

They were then put through a series of mental exercises on a computer.
Compared to a group that had not eaten ice cream, Prof Koga’s subjects exhibited faster reaction times and better information-processing capabilities, the Excite News web site reported.

Koga also found that the subjects who ate ice cream “had an increase in alpha brain waves.” Those brain waves? They’re related to high alertness and low irritation. That means that eating ice cream won’t just make you feel good because you’re starting the day in a way that’s consistent with your longtime visions for adulthood, but also because it may actually help you focus and tackle life’s little frustrations a bit better.

There’s more, too: Koga tried the same experiment using only cold water and found that while there was some improvement in functioning, it wasn’t nearly as good as when he used ice cream. He’s going to need to do a few more trials to figure everything out (insert “I volunteer as tribute GIF here”) but soon we could be told that eating tiny packages of “breakfast ice cream” at the breaka-breaka dawn isn’t just normal and appropriate, it’s suggested; it’s required.

We’re all hopeful, but skeptics suggest that the results could be down to whether the subject ate something for breakfast as opposed to exactly what they ate. There’s also some research, however, that shows us that eating desserts activates the pleasure centers of our brains, making us feel like we can do anything for a few moments, even if eaten in tiny amounts. You’re not going to take this one away from us, science! This is a huge win for today!

Which we will now celebrate with another gif: