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Republicans, Democrats. Socialists, Capitalists. Jedi, Sith. The differences between these groups are minuscule when it comes to the dividing line between two sects of people who have fought over one of society’s greatest questions: Is a hot dog a sandwich?
Merriam-Webster says the hot dog is a sandwich, Noel Gallagher said the phrase “hot dog sandwich” unironically once. Anthony Bourdain has publicly weighed in on the debate and said the hot dog was definitely not a sandwich. A few months ago, even the Utah Jazz questioned the reality hot dog sandwich truthers live in.
It’s been an argument that has plagued us, and possibly held back our culture for years. Decades. Think of the innovations humans could’ve introduced by now if we were not spending countless man hours on needless wars and wondering out loud if a meat tube wrapped 75 percent in carbs could actually be classified as a sandwich.
Thankfully, Joey Chestnut, the greatest hot dog eater in the history of hot dog eaters, fresh off eating 72 dogs (dunked in water) at this year’s Nathan’s Famous International Hot Dog Eating Contest, is here to tell the world “no,” the hot dog is not a sandwich.
“You start considering a hot dog a sandwich, and you’re like ‘oh, because there’s carbs around it,’ then you have to start, kinda, is a gyro a sandwich? ‘Cause that’s kinda like … no. You have to keep division.”
And how can you doubt the man’s opinion? He did this:
And like that, the hot dog debate ended, and so did the “is the gyro a sandwich?” debate that I never knew existed. Wait. Is the gyro a sandwich?