This Six-Year-Old McDonald’s Burger Has Figured Out The Secret To Eternal Life

The next time you feel a grumble in your stomach calling for a Big Mac with fries, you might want to reconsider. Because what you are about to see cannot be unseen.

Look at that cheeseburger. Just look at it. It’s six years old, and it shows nary a sign of its age, save for a bit of dryness (it might have #wokeuplikethis for all we know). I wish I could look as fresh as that burger.

The fries, too, are six years old. In fact, the whole meal was purchased on Oct. 30, 2009, by anthropologist Hjörtur Smárason, when McDonald’s was on the brink of closing its Iceland franchise for economic reasons (or, as the meal’s current owner states, because “the McDonald’s menu didn’t really fit the diet of skyr, blueberries and rotten shark that had given Icelanders one of the longest life [expectancies] in the world”).

Before you get too concerned about the happiness of the poor, unconsumed burger and fries, never to fulfill their special purpose of bringing a smile to the face of Mr. Smárason, know that it’s living out its advanced age in Iceland, at Reykjavik’s Bus Hostel.

Most of the time, the meal’s kept under its glass display case, where hostel guests can visit it — along with the whole, internet-connected world. Because, yes, there’s a live Webcam feed set up so anyone can watch the non-aging of the meal at any time, from anywhere.

Happily, the glass-encased duo occasionally manages to get out of the hostel for some sunshine and local travel, which is well-documented on Bus Hostel’s Insta, because why not?

As for McDonald’s official response to the conundrum of the non-decaying burger, they’ve released an official statement (in which they call it a “myth”):

In the right environment, our burgers, like most other foods, could decompose.

But, in order to decompose, you need certain conditions – specifically moisture. Without sufficient moisture – either in the food itself or the environment – bacteria and mold may not grow and therefore, decomposition is unlikely. So if food is or becomes dry enough, it is unlikely to grow mold or bacteria or decompose. Food prepared at home that is left to dehydrate could see similar results. Look closely, the burgers you are seeing are likely dried out and dehydrated, and by no means “the same as the day they were purchased.”

The reality is that our burgers are made only with 100 percent USDA-inspected beef. There are no preservatives or fillers in our patties and the only thing ever added is a touch of salt and pepper on the grill.

Thanks, McDonald’s. But I think I’m gonna go ahead and investigate some meat-free options all the same.