Banish Your Millennial Burnout By Getting Paid To Drive A Car Shaped Like A Hot Dog

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Hot diggity-dog, this is exciting: it’s time to forget working 60 hours a week at two different bars and delivering food on your days off. No more unpaid internships and just-barely-above-minimum-wage office drudgery. Sayonara never-not-working-freelance-life. Millennial work schedules have become too much (they’re literally calling us the “Burnout Generation” now), but just in the nick of time Oscar Mayer has swooped in to save the day with a dream job offer you don’t want to miss. If your life has become a little too Office Space, then you should apply to be the next Wienermobile driver, aka a Hotdogger.

If you’re one of the lucky Hotdoggers, starting in June 2019, you’ll drive a 27-foot-long hot dog on wheels from coast to coast, promoting the deli meat brand by doing radio and newspaper interviews, grocery store, and military visits and, you know, driving a giant hot dog. But you won’t just get to drive an enormous monument to American kitsch, you’ll get paid handsomely.

According to the job listing, Hotdoggers will receive a “competitive salary, plus expenses, benefits, and clothing.”

Not just anyone can apply, though. Oscar Mayer expects their hotdoggers to have a background in journalism, PR, communications, or a related field.

Look, it’s this or working half-time at that firm that swears they’ll make you a junior associate after the next earnings report comes back. My desperate hope for living a life beyond paycheck-to-paycheck has a first name: it’s O-S-C-A-R.