Look, do what you want with your life-sized eeriely accurate old lady dummies. We’re not here to shame or judge. Just maybe consider not leaving your mannequin in a freezing car for the cops to come and bust her non Kim Cattrall ass out. That doesn’t work for you, the cops or your dummy that appears to have survived the Great Depression.
New York’s Hudson Police Department rushed to the rescue of what was reported to be an elderly woman trapped inside a vehicle on a chilly December day. According to a press release from the police, there were a number of factors that prompted breaking into the vehicle to, uh, rescue this inanimate grandma.
“Officers arrived minutes later and observed an elderly woman seated in the passenger seat wearing an oxygen mask. She was not moving and was unresponsive. It was bitterly cold, (around 8 degrees) and the car had snow cover, indicating it may have been parked there overnight.”
“An HPD Sergeant broke the rear passenger window and opened the door to discover it was an extremely realistic life-sized mannequin.”
We suppose that’s a good thing. No one wants to hear that their Nan died on the off-chance she was a realistic dummy that likes to hang out in Subarus. The owner of the vehicle and dummy was not pleased, mind you. In fact, Chief L. Edward Moore says the owner was FURIOUS over liberating the geezer in a de facto freezer.
“It is my understanding that the owner was incredulous that we took action in this matter,” said Moore in the release. “He apparently was quite vocal and vulgar to my sergeant.”
So why did the owner get so allegedly “vocal and vulgar” with the sergeant? He’s the sales manager for a company that makes these things as medical aids. He apparently leaves these mannequins out overnight and now we have the most unusual police PSA of 2016 on our hands (non-clown division):
“Just to clear the record, all citizens of Hudson should be put on notice that if you park your locked vehicle on the street on a sub-zero night with a life-size realistic mannequin seated in it … we will break your window.”