It’s happened: You’ve taken a leave of absence, dumped work, and are out there finally enjoying life on your own terms–traveling the globe (or taking a cruise, or visiting Disney, whichever you prefer). The new change of scenery is nice and it’s got you feeling sort of confident and you know what would be awesome? To have sex.
Which is great. What could be better than connecting with another consenting adult (or adults) during a time of personal exploration? Probably not much (unless there’s a really good burrito somewhere), but there are some rules you should follow in order to make your journey the sexy romp you dream of.
Writing for Refinery29, Laurel Miller shares 25 years of her experience traveling solo and has a few words of advice for anyone looking to make love on the open road (or in the road, depending on how light the traffic is). First rule? Don’t try too hard. Just like in real life (that’s the one you have at home, unless you’re not a travel writer), you don’t want to come off as super desperate, and if you’re looking for vacation sex too hard, it may not find you. Miller for instance, got into one of her most memorable flings while she was literally fighting off the flu and bronchitis:
When my fever finally broke on New Year’s Eve, I joined the Aussies in celebrating the millennium. I was haggard, weak, and stone cold sober due to the antibiotics I was on. H spent much of the evening by my side, and I was shocked when he kissed me in the final moments of the 20th century. What followed was the kind of night that can only happen when you’re 8,000 miles away from home on a tropical island, with zero expectations. We spent hours talking at an abandoned rooftop bar, then wandered down to the deserted beach, where we lay under a palm tree and talked some more. As dawn broke, we went back my bungalow, whereupon he threw me against the wall and kissed me. It was game on, and while we never technically had sex, we spent the next two days together.
But if that’s rule number one, rule number two is “always use protection,” because these are strangers we’re talking about here and sometimes, like in the case of H, they have girlfriends. Or they may be seeing lots of other people. Who knows? Just make sure you’re keeping yourself protected sexually and physically (let others know where you are). As Miller points out, sometimes you’re out there doing the deed in a closed-up bar in a country you don’t know and the cops bust in. No one know where you are? They’re not going to come looking in a jail cell for you. (She also points out that speaking at least a little of the native language of the country you’re in is important.)
This may sound a little cumbersome, but it’ll end up being more worthwhile in the long run. And don’t you want your travel experience to be a memorable one? Could there be anything worse than not taking precautions (like not bringing a blanket) and ending up with sand all over your butt if you end up having sex on the beach? (That’s a rule I’m adding: Always bring a blanket. You’ve got like five million other things in your backpack.)
There are other things to consider, of course, on a reddit thread in which users discuss the logistics of hooking up while traveling the world, one person pointed out that if you’re staying in a hostel, respect for the people staying with you is paramount:
I think the key here is to be considerate of others especially if you’re dorming it. I know I’ve seen some comments here in the past saying “whatever, everyone is doing it, just mind your own business and stop being a prude!! i paid money for my bed too!!’ but really – I don’t want to hear your sex sounds. I’ve done it overseas in an upgraded private room and even though it cost more, it was so worth it.
Of course, it’s also easier to ask for forgiveness than permission:
Buy your roommates coffee the next morning or get them breakfast to make amends. But if keeping them awake an hour or so is really what you’ll regret most, I guess you know what course of action you need to take.
Opening your mind and body can change your entire life and outlook (some people are very conservative at home and very liberal while they’re beating a dusty path around the world), but make sure that you take a second and think back on some of these rules before you throw someone against a wall and have a peak life experience. And especially think about them if you’re planning to have sex while on vacation in Las Vegas. We’re not here to worry you–be free! love everyone!–but Nevada just reported a syphilis outbreak. (Don’t panic, it’s highly curable.)
